Bread and Roses

Werewolves

2012-02-08T17:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Greg was sitting in Writing workshop with me and Gwen. He had been sitting quietly for long time, when he walked up to me and whispered, "Momma, where are there werewolves?" I chuckled and quietly replied, "Where on earth did you learn about werewolves?" He leaned in and breathed, "Scooby Doo." I smiled, (Mentally cursing myself for every Scooby Doo episode I have let pass his eyes), and said "Well, there aren't any around here." He thought for moment and then earnestly stage whispered, "Can we go to to the zoo and see werewolves?"

Let the Nebs Begin

2012-02-01T08:23:00.000-05:00

This week's Sickness Olympics awards go to:

Gwenny~ who takes the Bronze with mild bronchitis
Gregory~ who takes the Silver with Moderate bronchitis
Sukey~who takes the Gold with right mid lobe pneumonia

Their prizes~nebs, antibiotics, and a bonus prize for Sukey of steroids.

This week in addition to my other titles I reclaim my nurses cap.

Blooming Into Herself

2012-01-18T22:39:00.006-05:00

This afternoon Susanna talked her cranky, sullen, little brother out of time out into a sweet apology to Momma. She was masterful.

I was trying to attract his interest in doing a work off the shelves. The three of us had just gone downstairs to do some school. While my back was turned and I was choosing a work off the shelf to do with him, he stood up on my chair, picked up the small wooden box of dominoes, which had been deliberately placed out of his reach declaring, "I want to do dominoes." I turned around and said, 'No Gregory we are not doing dominoes." He said, "Yes I am," and dumped them all over the floor.

Usually we can reason with him, redirect, or give him a count. Occasionally he impulsively does something too quickly for those strategies. We rarely use time outs, but for this he got a time out in the same chair he was standing on. I stood near him picking dominoes off of the floor saying, "Now look at this. Instead of us doing an interesting and fun work, I am wasting time cleaning up a mess you made. I only have so much time in a day to do things with you and there you are wasting our time being naughty." He was teflon. Instead of being an obedient little boy, he made a big production of keeping his legs under him so he would slowly slide off the chair in his slippery corduroy pants. He ignored what I was saying completely and said, "I'm sliding....I'm sliding...." to which I said, Fix your legs right now legs so you won't slide off of the chair!" He stared at me and kept sliding. I fixed his legs and said, "Now sit there!"

This made me even more cranky than I already was. What a surprise. The 9 nine year old who had already offered to help several times at this point and been shushed, walked over, leaned down and said, "Gregory, you have been a naughty boy. Momma is upset with you because you dumped the dominoes all the floor when she told you not to. She told you not to pick them up and you did it anyway. you weren't listening. Now be a nice boy." All the while she is leaned in close to him making eye contact and smiling sweetly. He is pouting but listening. She pressed and touched him lightly still using her sweetest voice, "You like doing works with Momma. She was trying to get one for you and you didn't listen and poured the dominoes all over the floor. Momma had to clean them up and waste her time when she could have been doing something fun with you!" She finished by taking his hands reassuringly and saying in an encouraging tone, "Now Gregory, if you want out of this time out and for Momma not to be upset with you then you need to go over and say you are sorry nicely to her."

He looked up at her and said . "Okay." Then he walked over to me, offered his arms to me in a big hug and said, "I'm sorry Momma."

I wonder what alternate family Susanna lives with, where she learned to be so sweet, engaging, and reasonable. Surely it is not here with me the Dragon Mother. Or Mrs. Grinch as she sang to me all Christmas season!

Sukey is delightful to watch with younger children. She is sweet, loving, funny, and utterly able to manage an ornery single minded toddler. In fact, she manages her brother often in a manner far superior to what I do. When I am not thoroughly annoyed, disconcerted, and slightly embarrassed that my not even a tween manages toddlers with an aplomb I can only aspire too, I am amazed at her confidence, poise, and sweet ability to work with a little one using her personality and gifts of persuasion so effectively.

I am loving watching her bloom into this amazing young girl. She will be a woman to emulate someday.

She is a blessing.

Courage Has a Name

2012-01-17T07:35:00.009-05:00

When we have explained courage to our children, we have defined it as the ability to face your fears squarely and keep going even when you want to quit.

Two weeks ago, Gwenny, went to her first volley ball clinic with a coach she had seen once at a pep rally, but never actually spoken too. A coach with a reputation in the CYO league of brusque toughness, and girls who leave crying the first few weeks of her practices. Gwenny knew this and agreed to join the clinic.

She arrived at our local YMCA to join with 60 girls she had never seen, all from different parishes, since she was the only girl from our parish to sign up. This is the girl who was afraid to read to service dogs at the library when she was a fluent reader at six years old.

With a foot bandaged from stepping on a light bulb two days previously, she went to a two hour practice of drills and laps. She practiced all but 15 minutes when her foot hurt so much she had to stop.

Knowing that her coach would be telling everyone present that she has Tourette Syndrome, she walked into the gymnasium and waited patiently for the session to begin. Her coach brought her into the circle, quickly explained Tourette Syndrome to the assembled kids and parents, and then ended by saying that she wouldn't make it any easier on Gwen; that she expected the same from her as every other girl there.

Courage: Is 11 years old, full of anxiety, knows not a soul, is afraid of a new coach, has a painful injury, is singled out for a disability, and then starts her five laps around the gym to warm up for a 2 hour practice.

Courage has a name and it is Gwenny.

Some Animals Eat Their Young 3

2012-01-14T07:52:00.008-05:00

A week ago, on a Friday, in yet another attempt to clean the spectacle that is the girls room, I went in there to work with them. In addition to cleaning, we were trying to put the lycra covers on their mattresses to help them sleep. As we were wrestling the mattress the top bunk mattress down, Gwen let out a bellow, "My foot! My foot!" I looked down and there was blood spurting out of her heel from a chunk of glass sticking out. Result: One ticket to the ER. No stitches, just an x-ray. Lesson learned, (though I have my doubts), taking light bulbs, coloring them, and then leaving them on the floor is bound to end badly. She has spent the last week with a painful foot.

Three days later on Monday, Sukey took the BSC up to her room to show her the new radio she got for Christmas. While up in the top bunk, she began dancing, (on her knees), to the Taylor Swift CD she had playing. Result: Loud crack as two slats in the bottom of her bed split. Lesson learned, (though I have my doubts), listen to your parents who have told you repeatedly not to bounce or otherwise horse around in your bed or you will break it! She slept on the floor for the next 2 nights until her dad could fix the slats.

Two days later on Wednesday, Gwen sat, while holding her brother, on the end of his train table and broke it. Witnesses-- her TSS and the BSC. I looked at the BSC and lifted my eyebrows. She said, "One crisis to the next." That about sums it up. Lesson learned, (though I have my doubts), don't sit on the train table. Sigh. Daddy came home expecting to fix Sukey's bed that night, and walked into the living room with the broken table. His second full time job is repairing everything that gets broken here. The table is fixed, though quite delicate. Daddy will have to make a new wooden cross piece in his copious free time.

These are the highlights. Pray for us!

Rolling Out School

2012-01-13T22:59:00.005-05:00

We are managing to keep up a good habits with the classroom. We are keeping it clean. Much due diligence from me in that area. The kids are enjoying going down and working. Gwen is getting so much more math done. We will finally be wrapping up her Singapore 3B and moving into 4A. I just received her new books today. Sukey is wrapping her 2B up and as well. I will be ordering hers soon.

Both girls are enjoying the Montessori maps tremendously. They are doing them every time we are in the classroom.

Gregory continues to enjoy his works. He is learning how to choose his work and then put it away properly.

We will be adding a computer to the classroom this month. That will make things run even more smoothly. Much of Gwen's work is on the computer this year due to the Essentials and IEW Language Arts course she is taking. Not having a computer in the classroom makes it difficult to use that space as well as we could. Adding that will make the time we have down there flow so much better. She will be able to type the grammer charts that she needs to master, practice the vocabulary, and do grammar assignments, and work on writing assignments while I work with Sukey and Gregory.

Sukey really needs the opportunity to spend quality time in the classroom. She lost so much of that when we abandoned the room for upstairs. She was the perfect age to use it and she lost a lot.. This will give her some much needed time to use materials that she has not outgrown yet and can still enjoy working with. Gregory really needs the stimulation of working with the materials. He is bright, precocious, and more than ready to stretch himself with the works. He gets engrossed enough that I am able to spend some time with the girls. I am grateful.

Eric pulled out our Muzzy program from the BBC the other day, so we have been listening to "Le Grand Muzzy". Gregory adores Muzzy so we watch that a lot. Maybe some French will seep into all of our brains now that we are actually using the program. Gregory has been repeating words quite a bit so I am encouraged.

On another note: I am in a good routine of getting up at the same every morning and going down to the classroom to iron a shirt for Eric for work. I am getting laundry cycled through faster now since it is in the basement. In every area of our home things are getting more organized, less cluttered, and cleaner. I told the Behaviorist and the Therepeutic Support person from Wraparound Services that to get things under control in our home we needed to get out of chaos and organized. I said, "You need to be organized to get organized." It is so true. I have been working night and day for months now on rolling out school, dealing with medical issues, and organizing. Like a snowball rolling down hill, things are starting to collect and come together. The TSS has been helping the girls stay on top of their room so now I can work on other things. The BSC said to me the other day that she couldn't get over how much I had managed to get done since we started getting services. We still have so many areas that need so much attention, though I can see true progress. I am exhausted, but hopeful

Gems

2012-01-13T22:51:00.004-05:00

A chilly little boy after a diaper change said, "I'm cold." I pulled him close to warm him up. While I held him snugly against me he said, "I fit you just right." Little boy sweetness. Loving my toddler fiercely.

Commenting on a playing card with Sponge Bob depicted with black bulls eye eyes, "That's creepy." The boy speaks the truth more than he knows. The sponge is creepy in every way.

Today, Gregory played Monopoly with Sukey and me. He choose his playing piece, rolled the dice, bought property (with help),took turns nicely, and concentrated on the game for an hour. What more can I say!

Rooting the Cuttings

2012-01-09T22:42:00.011-05:00

I continue to try and connect the girls to the parish we attend. This is the result of a lot of reflection on how our family was living out our life here in Southeastern PA. I don't have a lot of time to ramble out my musings anymore, so the mostly short story is that we need roots in this area. As transplants who homeschool, we float in the breeze of life here. We are here in our little neighborhood, and in 3 other counties as we run the roads in pursuit of homeschool activities, classes, and field trips. Not being connected here through the roots of family, leaves us in the difficult position of nurturing and cultivating relationships with much more care than someone who can unthinkingly rely on a lifetime of intimate family relationships, and the casual web of acquaintances and familiarity of space that living a lifetime in an area provides. We work hard for every connection, every encounter, every piece of connectedness that we have.

Transplants have to connect through their jobs, neighbors, schools, or parishes. With the children not in the local public school, connecting that way has not been an option. Last year, when it became clear that we were not relocating to New England, I decided that I had to find a way to get our family rooted in our community. I had tried doing this through the homeschool community, but that only worked for a while when the children were little. I realized that we had to connect through our parish. Even there we are not quite a fit, since I shopped around and chose the parish I felt comfortable in, instead of going to the parish around the corner. So instead of walking to Mass, we drive 10 minutes to the next township. It is worth it.

In the spring, I signed Gwen up for her first CYO sport. That was the beginning of my deliberate and careful attempt to root us in the area. From that first softball team, Gwen has moved to CYO volleyball, and then both girls joined CYO swimming in addition to their Suburban Aquatic League team, and USA swimming. Gwen is also now in a volley ball clinic offered by the commissioner of our region. I met with the principal of our parish school, and she graciously invited the children to become part of the community. She wants to reach out to homeschoolers. Her confessed ulterior motive is to get me to register the girls. Mine is for my children to have a a community. She invited them to hand out programs at the school Christmas pageant, which they did with joy in their Christmas finery. Gwen has joined a twice a month prayer group for 5th, 6th, and 7th grade girls, both girls have joined the school choir, and Sukey is volunteering at the parish school for special needs children 2 hours a week in a classroom with 7-10 year old children. The sisters have been warm and welcoming. Both girls are now in girls scout troops affiliated with our parish. Along with CYO and our other activities our life is full! We are involved!

You reap what you sow. Now, when we go to Mass, we see familiar faces. The girls exit the pews at the end of Mass to greet other girls and chat. I recognize other parents and have quick conversations. We no longer stand in the pew at the end of Mass not knowing a soul feeling isolated and disconnected. It has taken a tremendous amount of work, many phone calls, emails, and conversations, but the result has been that people in the parish have opened their arms to our family and welcomed us in. I still feel a a bit odd being the homeschool parent who hangs out with the parish school families. The odd separation between pubic school kids and Catholic school kids still seems to prevail. I am in some sort of odd space that people can't quite puzzle out. (Sometimes I can't either!) People don't know what to think. This is what I know~

Our precious babies with their host of complications need a village. Mom and Dad need a village to parent them. The Church is big. Hopefully there is room inside for our quirky, unconventional, heretical, faithful, loving little family. Cut off from our pasts in New York and New Hampshire, Eric and I are transplants. Cuttings. Some cuttings never root. They linger in the water then die. Some straggle along and never quite take off. Others take their time, but the roots develop and they sink deep. For a long time we straggled along. Now we are sinking in. For better or worse, we are deep in this soil now. I pray that it remains healthy and nurturing. So far so good.

The New September

2012-01-06T17:41:00.010-05:00

My classroom has been in chaos for two and half years. We have had brief periods where it has been back in use, but not on a consistent basis. It is not only useable again, it is beginning to look look old times. We started school on January 2nd in the classroom. It is September for us. When things became so out of control last winter and spring, I knew it would take months to get the services in place to give the children the help that they needed. I thought it would be in place by September, but it took time to pull together the array of services that we need.

I am so grateful for the family services that we have been able to access. I wish that we had known about them 2 and half years ago when we got the first diagnosis of Complex Tourette Syndrome, if we had received them then we might have gotten an earlier diagnosis of Aspergers for my oldest and started her services sooner, but I can't waste any more time regretting that. I am deeply grateful for the help that we are getting now. There were times that I thought I would break under the stress. The presence of other adults to redirect the girls has been tremendously helpful. I can actually get things done now with them. Instead of spending all my time redirecting them, the TSS does that while I can actually get something done for the brief periods that she is here. We have instituted short timed work periods followed by short timed reward periods. (We are un-Montessori now. That is a much longer discussion. Suffice it to say that my oldest child never normalized and doesn't respond to internal motivation. I spent years trying to shove her into a Montessori framework when she needed much more direction, rewards, and worksheets. I don't regret all of that effort spent trying to use Montessori materials and methods, I just wish that I had modified things sooner when it was apparent that she needed more direction and structure. The second had much more success, but ultimately had similar problems due to her ADD, though much more scaled back. The distraction from her sister made things complicated, and leaving the classroom at 6 to only return sporadically took away a lot of opportunity to handle things more maturely as she got older. She was showing promising signs and missed the environment a lot the first year we were upstairs. I regret that. The toddler seems to be responding to the materials right now so I can only hope that he may handle the prepared environment better.)

Having said all that, the girls do love many of the materials. In particular, they enjoy showing Gregory his works and revisiting a few themselves. They are enjoying their classroom space thoroughly, which has led to doing their school work with enthusiasm. We are all enjoying having a whole new room to be in. Our world had gotten terribly small.

Gregory is learning how our classroom operates. Yesterday he asked me if we could go downstairs and "play works." I have a whole area devoted to his works. It is not the entire classroom separated into the 5 Montessori areas like it was when the girls were little, instead I have one set of shelves devoted to him with a few works from each area.

At the moment Gregory's current favorite works are coloring soap bubbles and baby washing. He spends long periods carefully squeezing eye droppers of colored water onto frothy bubbles and then whisking them. He has also enjoyed transferring pom poms, scooping rice, and pouring beans. He has a done a few matching works with pictures. I made him an alphabet work this weekend using a set of upper case alphabet letters that I have and small objects. I will present that soon.

Each child has a table to use as a desk. Gwen is now at a full size table. She is just too tall for kid size equipment now! I need to look into getting her a large exercise ball to sit on. I may get Sukey one as well. Sukey has shifted to Gwen's old table and Gregory to the little one Sukey had. The space is working right now and feels welcoming again. It definitely needs some tender care, which I continue to try to squeeze out time for.

In my continuing battle against the forces of chaos and darkness score one for me. It may be January but for us it is the New September. Just having an orderly place to go has made all of us feel so much better. Welcome to the first month of school!

Gems

2012-01-06T17:31:00.003-05:00

During school today I was working on the alphabet with Gregory. I pointed to a picture of a G which needed to be matched with a picture of a gorilla. I said, "Gregory, this is a G. Do you know what G stands for?"

His reply--"It's for scary monkey."

Still laughing...

Sensational Kids Part 1--The Boy

2011-12-14T00:53:00.005-05:00

I could write a book about Sensory Processing Disorder and how it has manifested itself in my home and family, but I will try to keep this succinct.

I have three kids who have wired uniquely neurologically. Their nervous systems are just twitchy. The result is that the 2 oldest have Tourette Syndrome with co morbid conditions and the toddler so far has a Low Threshold sensory profile.

What does that mean in brief for the toddler (older kids another post)--

*The toddler bangs and shakes his head a lot. He boinks me in the head to the point that I had a huge bruise on my cheekbone a few months back and he has come close to breaking my nose several times.

*He nurses constantly. Way more than the other two children did. His need for comfort nursing is tremendous. He has almost no ability to regulate himself and seeks oral regulation frequently.

*He gets hyper aroused and rammy which results in things being thrown willy nilly with predictable results. He seems to be unable to calm himself down.

*He is unable to resettle himself and go back to sleep. If I shift in bed to roll over he walkes and seeks nursing instantly and will go to full blown wailing if I try to resettle him. This is exhausting for me at over 2.5 years old. We have been doing this for along time.

*He remembers any discomfort, anxiety inducing experience with crystal clarity and will react as if whatever upset him has just occurred even though the incident is months past. Example--a nasty rash that cleared in a day caused him to carry on and cry it hurts for over 3 months every time I changed his diaper.

*He requires tags cut out of his clothes but is inconsistent about this.

*He cries inconsolably when he is tired or uncomfortable and has to mange additional discomfort or separation even for a few minutes from me.

*He resists cuddling unless he is sleepy and relaxed or he seeks it out. He has definite tactile sensitivity.

*He is extremely sensitive to loud noises.

*He seeks control over his environment to the extent that he scripts conversations and what he expects others around him to do in most situations.

* He requires significant transition time.

*He resists anything new and out of his comfort zone.

Those are the highlights.

What works for calming--

deep pressure and heavy work to help his nervous system soothe and regulate itself--

heavy blankets--

carrying heavy objects like half filled gallon jugs --

a 10 pound bag of rice in his lap--asking him to push and pull--we use a bungie cord and ask him to help us up from sitting--

a bag like a sleeping bag for him to feel cozy in and push against for resistance--

wrapping him in a towel--

water play in the sink--

play doh--

sensory boxes with sand, salt, or beans--

hanging him upside down to release serotonin into his brain--

swinging--

jumping up and down--

What works to stimulate the intense oral needs and reduce the nursing to more reasonable level--

salsa and chips--

pickles--

nerds--

straws to eat apple sauce and yogurt (he even ate lentil soup with a straw)--

crazy straw with warm milk--

crunchy food like raw veggies and apples--

Pretzels--

More to come but I am tired--

I cannot wait for the spacial body bags (body soxs) that I ordered to arrive from LaceandFabric.com He is going to love this bag. ( I got one for each of the kids and two twin bed lycra sheets for the girls to try. they have significantly different sleep needs and Gwen has a sleep disorder.)

The toddler size bag will give him a cave to hide in-- "a calm place" like his duplo bucket--it will provide resistance and hopefully help to calm him.

Really--We are Doing School

2011-12-11T22:20:00.015-05:00

In an effort to reassure myself that there is in fact some learning going on here I am writing a first half of the school year review.

In early September, we went to the Wagner Free Institute for a Honey Festival. This nifty Victorian era museum was a great trip. The lecture hall with its wood paneled walls and amphitheater setting, reminded me of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. The hall upstairs was stuffed with collections in glass cases with items such as taxidermist stuffed animals and skeletons to name a few. The demonstration on spinning out honey and smoking a bee hive was fantastic. My girls loved smoking the bees to" sleep" so they could pick them up. We left with some delicious smelling soaps, beeswax candles and Fairmont Park honey that tasted like it had dripped from the vault of heaven.

In late September we went to a homeschool Colonial Day at Graeme Park. This was a great day! The girls watched a soldier in militia garb from the 1700's shoot a musket and took turns in a line trying out muskets. They made tin punch crafts, and played the children's games of hoops and graces, They carried water from the stream in wooden buckets hanging from a neck yoke, watched a cooking demonstration, and saw a play about the Underground Railroad. This was our second time at Graeme Park for a Colonial Themed day, and it was well worth the day spent there.

In October, we didn't have any field trips. Instead, the girls lunched one day with our elderly neighbors where they learned how to play the card game King's Corners. We did go geocaching in the Pennypack one glorious afternoon as a family. It is a beautiful tract of land preserved in suburbia that feels like rural woods and meadowland. It is lovely. We had a great time. We never did find the geocache but the walk was fantastic.We had our Halloween trick or treating fun and a Scarecrow making birthday party for Sukey.

In November, we went to the Churchville Nature Center for a well done Lenape Indian field trip in a small recreated Lenape Village at the the nature center. The interpreters do a great job of leading the kids through a series of presentations on Lenape life. The kids learned a lot and had a terrific time. Gwen snapped dozens of pictures. Since my husband reconfigured the hard drive, I have been pictureless, so I can't post any yet.

December has been super busy. The theme is the arts. I took Gwen and a friend to see a production of "Little Women" at Hilltown Creative Arts Academy. This is the second play that we have seen at this location. The first was "Anne of Green Gables." The shows have been well done and quite enjoyable. The children performing do a masterful job of memorizing complex bits of dialogue, and the stage crafting/props are well done. We will be going back to see " The Hobbit," in the spring.

We went as a family--including Daddy--to see the Delaware Valley Dance Academy's production of the Nutcracker. We have seen this show for the last 4 years. It is a scaled back version perfect for shorter attention spans. The costumes are lovely and the dancers are quite good. We went on the school day performance. The place was filled to the gills with children. My husband was amazed at the rapt attentiveness of the children in the audience.

Tonight, I took Sukey on a date to see a delightful Christmas program at the Abington Presbyterian Church church, which is known for its music programs. There was an orchestra, with 3 separate choirs also performing. Sukey couldn't get over how big the choir was. She was puzzled by the fact that the place was filled with adults. I explained that we were at the evening candlelit performance that is usually attended by adults, so she was suitably impressed that she was being taken to a "big girl" event. Unfortunately, she did experience some stress over her ticcing. She had been holding them in a lot over the weekend, it was really hard for her to maintain that at the concert. She is quite self conscious, so she was grateful when the lights went down, and she could tic less obviously. She genuflected when we got into the pew and crossed herself. I was gratified that she did that, though I had to explain that while it is proper to be respectful in any church that we genuflect to honer the Real Presence of Jesus in the tabernacle in a Catholic church. This resulted in a sweet conversation about Protestants and Catholics. She still is quite fuzzy on that concept. She only saw three children in the whole place. We went out for hot chocolate and a doughnut afterward.

On December 20th we will be going to see Hansel Gretel at the Mitchel Center for the Performing Arts. We have been to Storybook Musical Theater before and enjoyed the show , so we hope that this one will prove to be good. Gregory, who has seen an episode of Little Einstein's that features Hansel and Gretel, is already talking about the witch and her candy house! He is looking forward to the play, if you can imagine a 2.5 year old looking forward to a play.

Hmmm, maybe we are a field trip factory.

Another big activity that we have going on, is Gwen's volunteer job at a local nature center called Briar Bush. She volunteers there once a week to provide animal care to various animals that the center houses and uses for educational purposes. We got off to a bit of a rocky start with Sukey jealous of her sisters job, a toddler who was stumping around and banging doors and cupboards like he owned the place, and me in a frenzy of nerves. Things have smoothed out, and Gwen has become quite accomplished at the job. Lots of learning going on at this job. Most of it unrelated to pure acquisition of knowledge, but instead related to following through on a commitment, working through preferred tasks, (playing with the animals--super fun) and working through non preferred tasks (cleaning animal scat of varying degrees of ickiness, taking responsibility for a job well done--or not-- and and accepting feedback etc etc.

The girls are still going to their weekly art class with a gifted and warm teacher who is really helping them move along in their appreciation, enjoyment, and skill with art in many forms. They are both also taking piano lessons with two local homeschooled teens. The lessons go well. The practicing could be better. We keep working on that.

We went to Essentials at Classical Conversations for 12 weeks (except for the notable sick weeks). That is a whole post unto itself, which I have started and can't seem to finish. Suffice it to say, we are being thoroughly schooled in grammar and writing. (When I can manage to get us still long enough to get some of the work done!) Gwen is learning more rapidly than me. Feel free to correct my punctuation! While Gwen is in her class, Sukey takes an art class and a physical education class, both of which she enjoys. Gregory is supposed to be in the nursery. That has not gone well until the last 2 weeks of the 12 week session. His anxiety about separating from me due to one scary experience where he thought he was alone in the room, caused him to handle the experience poorly. His occupational therapist from Early Intervention came to nursery one day which helped him work through quite a bit. More on the tremendous amount I am learning about Sensory Processing Disorder and sensory diets in a another post I can't seem to finish. I will soon. The good news is that he is coming along, we are learning techniques to help him out.

Math has been off to a sketchy start, but now that we are settling in more with our schedule along with the services that we are getting for the children I am managing to get a little more done with them. Daddy has helped out a few times by reviewing fractions and doing some fun math projects, so we aren't completely ignoring that subject. Our Learning Wrapups came and they are excellent. Hugely fun!

One things that was hard to hear was the comment Sukey made about 4 weeks ago. "Momma, you spend all your time with Gwen in school or with Greg and don't do anything with me." Ouch. It was true though. The ramping up process with Essentials was extremely steep. In addition, Gwen's volunteer job at Briar Bush took a huge amount of time during which Sukey was watching her brother much more than she wanted too, which caused some resentment. That has smoothed out, since Gwen has become proficient at the job, and I have made changes in my approach to our time there. I am making every effort to spend more time with Sukey by reading aloud to her, bringing her into my projects, and talking about different things. I have also made a big effort to shift more attention over to her as best as I can during our limited school time.

At the moment, because we have a break from Essentials, on the recommendation of friend, I am doing a read aloud with the girls of "Tale of Despereaux." This is good for both girls. They love the book and we are getting some solid learning from our conversations about it. It is also allowing me to give Sukey a lot more focused attention. I bought a literature unit study to go along with it, (part of the neuro psych eval recommendations), we are working through that over Christmas break. On Friday, the girls worked on looking up vocabulary words from the book in an online dictionary, and practiced typing by writing the words out to place on the back of pictures that they drew symbolizing the words. Today we had Watercress soup, crusty homemade French White Bread, and garden salad in honor of Queen Rosemary while we talked about the book over lunch. Tomorrow we will be looking into knights and the code of chivalry. Lots of fun activities in this unit. We are focusing on looking at big concepts, empathy, and themes.

Despite their respective fractures, the girls are both swimming and having a good season. Gwen played volley ball in the fall and will be starting a volley ball clinic in January run by the commissioner of our CYO league. They are swimming on their suburban swim team and on our parish CYO team as well. They will be swimming in some USS meets over the winter. Swimming continues to be a great choice for them in every way.

Even in the midst of the upheaval in the Philadelphia Archdiocese over abuse by priests, I remain committed to the faith; I continue to try to bring the children along in their faith and help them find community within that faith. With that in mind, I made a decision to be very intentional about involving the family in our parish last spring. We have been there three years now and not met many people. Getting involved in CYO was a big step toward helping that process along.

I finally managed to get Gwen into the parish Girl Scout troop. She is having fun with that. She had a field trip to a veterinary hospital and chance to cook in her leaders restaurant. Good times! This week she will be baking cookies for the parish cookie swap sale, and volunteering at the sale with girls from her troop.

I am trying to get Sukey involved in the Brownie troop at our parish. I continue to work on that. She was quite brave and asked one of the sisters at our parish if she could do some volunteer work. It happens, that there is an opportunity for her to volunteer at a parish run school for kids with special needs. She will be starting that in January. She is very excited. Most of the children will have Downs Syndrome, though there is a range of disabilities represented there. When she was talking to Sister, she offered that she could be very helpful with children who have disabilities because she has Tourette Syndrome. It was moving to witness.

I have contacted the principal of our parish school and asked if the girls can participate in some school activities. Sister was gracious and welcoming. This week the girls will be going to the school to help out with the pageant preparation. In January, they may join the school choir.

We have been bogged down with numerous doctors appointments, evaluations, and setting up of services to help the children move through the maze of complexities created by living with Complex Tourette Syndrome with its accompanying co morbid conditions. It has been a long haul so far with "..miles to go before we sleep", but things are beginning to settle for us. Hopefully, the second half of the school year will less chaotic and more peaceful. I am grateful that even through all the upheaval that we are still managing to be life learners.

Gems

2011-12-08T21:17:00.006-05:00

Last night Gregory was playing on the floor. He was a bit rammy, so I was trying to help him calm himself down. We dumped his bucket of duplo blocks out and I had him make himself small and curled up on the floor while I put it on top of him. He loved this! We did it several times and then the last time he said to me from inside of it, "I am in my calm place."

Puzzled I said, "What is your calm place?"

"This place."

I pulled the bucket off and inquired, "Where did you learn about that?"

"The Momma dinosaur says to the baby dinosaurs when they are loud to go to their calm place. This is my calm place"

Thank you "Dinosaur Train"

Some Animals Eat Their Young: 3

2011-12-05T22:28:00.001-05:00

Correction: Sukey's hyper-extension is a fracture. She got a cast on at the same time Gregory got his cast off. That was a 3 hour specialist visit last Tuesday.

I was back there on Thursday for another 2 hours because her thumb was having pins and needles and had been for a day and half. Blue castast off--recast in hot pink this time.

By Friday evening at 2:00 pm the cast was unraveling at the base of her casted fingers and by evening it had cracked and was disconnected from the rest of the cast. Her cast is now mostly silver duct tape.

Tomorrow I will be going back to the orthopedist for a third cast on fingers that only need a 2 week cast. That will cost me another 3.5 hours of my life including drive time.

I swear she is not bashing her cast against brick walls.

Gems

2011-11-30T19:01:00.003-05:00

To Momma's offering of a cracker spread with soft cheddar and slivered almonds, "This is amazing!"

To Daddy showing him pliers and asking, "What are pliers?": "Really Excellent tools."

Gems

2011-11-18T22:39:00.000-05:00

"Mr Barry, Look at my baby. He fractured his knee."

Some Animals Eat Their Young 2

2011-11-18T22:27:00.006-05:00

In the last month:

Gwen has fractured her foot.

Gregory has fractured his elbow.

Sukey hyperextended her pinky and just avoided a fracture.

All here in the house.

We don't need skateboards, snowboards, or mini bikes.
We don't even have to leave.

Results ~one boot, one cast, one ER visit, 3 pediatrician visits, 4 specialist visits and 3 xrays.

Some Animals Eat Their Young

2011-11-18T11:04:00.005-05:00

This morning:

Gregory has just finished sprinkling salt all over my floor in the living room. I left that to deal with...

Gwenny, who has clogged my toilet and flooded my bathroom floor. While I dealt with that mess...

Gregory has been taking apart the handle on my vacuum cleaner that I just fixed 15 minutes ago from several days ago when he did this the first time. I can't find the spring now, which I carefully rescued the first time.

Mercifully Sukey has just aggravated me to the usual degree with her flakiness. I finally threatened her within an inch of her life to put away the blue sweater that she has had either laying on her floor or on her bureau for the last month.

Now I have finally vacuumed by holding the handle together while I push it because I have someone coming here at 1:00. My coffee is cold and ready to be reheated for the third time.

This is a calm day.

Homeschool 2011-2012: Math

2011-11-15T08:33:00.005-05:00

It is November and I am just pulling together what we are doing for school in some significant ways.

After a spring summer and fall spent pulling together as many services and health care professionals as possible to serve the children I am to the point where I can think about this school year in more than emergency chunks.

Singapore Math--Still working for us as a solid core but we need to spice things up considerably to keep interest for both girls. This year I am adding more games to math for completely different reasons for each girl.

Gwen is math phobic and exceedingly distractable. She needs constant guidance and refocusing help with math. Math is a huge struggle. She needs a lot of fun and some rewards mixed in. I have to provide constant reinforcement and repetition of concepts. Sukey is a math whiz and easily bored by workbooks. She needs more fun to keep her excited about math while we make sure she covers all the concepts. I have started having her do every other problem in her Singapore to move her along more quickly. Her boredom was causing her to avoid math and start to resent it. She needs minimal repetition. They have completely different needs, but I think that adding a games component will ameliorate Sukey's boredom to keep her excited about math, while alleviating Gwen's anxiety and reinforcing basics.

I am adding Math Wrap ups to our math study. Gwen fidgets constantly. Hopefully these will give her one more tool to learn basic math facts, help channel her OCD, and provide another outlet for her sensory seeking. In addition, she learns rapidly through music. The audio cd's will be perfect for a fun way to master facts. Sukey will also enjoy the cd's and may want to use the wraps simply for fun. She needs some more mastery also. The boy will be chanting his facts in no time, completely clueless as to what they mean, but because he is a walking tape recorder he will soak them right up.

We have been wanting to try First in Math for several years now. Money and the prioritizing of it is always an obstacle. This fall I am making this on line program a piece of recreational computer time. We will give it a try and see if the girls like it. They have played with a friend who is in public school often whose school district uses it and really enjoyed it. If nothing else, just having some math fun without pressure would be beneficial.

This game box from Right Start Math has also been on my wish list for several years. This year I am adding it to the mix. As I said before, we need games, tokens, (rewards) and lots of breaks to make math fun and interesting before any joy in learning math is completely crushed. I am hoping that this box of games will us a rich source of quick fun games that I can use as rewards for getting through assigned math in Singapore. For Sukey this will serve as the fun she needs for her quick math mind. She is gearing up rapidly to outpace her sister in math and needs some fun. If I can get Gwen caught up in math--proficient in math facts and solid in fractions--she is a year behind her peers--I can move into Life of Fred for math next year. Her reading ability and proclivity to do better with learning in story format is her number one learning asset. Life of Fred will match that beautifully if we can just get the basics down solidly.

Last year was a big learning year for me about what works and what doesn't for us in school. I had a neuro psychological evaluation done on Gwen for just that reason. Testing done by the school district 2 years ago was not nearly comprehensive enough, nor did they offer any solutions to school educational issues that I was having in teaching Gwen. They raved about how she was doing beautifully and did not hear my concerns. If you have any concerns about your child's education needs get a neurospsycholgical evaluation done. Our insurance covered the one we had done. We paid the regular specialist co pay as if we were going to the allergist. It was well worth it.

Next--Language Arts

"Elevate, Educate, Advocate"

2011-11-15T08:07:00.005-05:00

"Different is the New Normal" is a 2011 documentary that is well worth watching if you want to learn about Tourette Syndrome. I viewed it with my husband. My 10 year old daughter just watched it this weekend with a friend. It was good for her. It was good for her friend.

Different is the New Normal

The Homeschool Year in Review--2010-2011

2011-11-11T22:51:00.004-05:00

I wrote what turned out to be lengthy description of what worked and didn't last year. Mostly to frame things for myself.

Next I will frame out what we are doing this year.

The family crisis of the late winter and spring has taken months to rein in. Things are starting to become almost manageable

Here is the link to the page here in the blog:

The Review

Hoping that this school year has some of the creativity and interest of last year with less of the crises.

Gems

2011-11-11T12:22:00.001-05:00

"Can we listen to the parts of speech song?"

Really? Wouldn't "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" be more fun?

Wink

The Gum War

2011-11-08T22:20:00.002-05:00

Toddler curled,
spiny around his
treasure.
Silver wrappers sparkle,
evidence of foraging.
His prickly voice commands,
"Don't care! Don't care!"
"I'm not doing anything!"
Momma swoops.
Scoops the juicy wad
from fierce teeth.
The air splits with a piercing
"Momma!!'
Tiny Napoleon shoulders droop
in a moment of defeat.
Resolve sets in.
He soldiers on,
the next campaign already
gleaming in his minds eye.

Living with Tourette Syndrome

2011-11-08T17:19:00.007-05:00

We came home from the dentist last week on a lovely late fall day, the sun was slanting through the sky, casting the mellow gold rays unique to late afternoon autumnal days. We were leaving the city, so were in a crush of traffic. Despite that, the air was dry and cool, we had the windows down to enjoy the gusting breeze and click of leaves rushing across the pavement.

We had been cooped up for several hours at a new location for our dentist. New building , new people, crowded busy practice, unfortunately long wait. Gwen, who had been holding in her tics most of that time, sat next to me in the front seat. She let out a short series of loud shrieks and jerked her head several times. At the red light, out of the corner of my eye, I caught the movement of the woman in the care next to us glancing over, then closing her window. I hoped Gwen hadn't noticed. About thirty seconds later as pulled away from the light, she turned to me with stricken eyes and lips turned down. "Momma, that woman looked at me and made a face, then rolled up her window."

One woman, one coupe on a boulevard with thousands of cars, maybe on her way home from work, or to work. Maybe out shopping. Perhaps out to visit an ailing parent in a nursing home or off to the supermarket. She pulls up next to one woman, and three kids in a van. Maybe just picked up from school. Maybe going to the shoe store or coming from the shoe store. Perhaps on their way home from a dentist and living with TS.

We are having a lot of firsts this year. This was the first time someone noticed her ticcing in public and she noticed them noticing her.

"That made me feel really bad Momma."

" I know honey. she wasn't trying to be mean. She just doesn't understand. Maybe it startled her. Maybe it scared her. She heard someone shrieking and decided to roll up her window. There are going to be more times like this where someone notices you and doesn't understand. They might say something, or laugh, or say something mean. You are going to have to try to get used to people noticing and find a way to let it go. Maybe you'll even tell some people what TS is and they will learn something"

"I will just ignore them."

Wishing we had been in a Currier and Ives painting with apple trees and horses grazing while my daughter ran through a field with a dog nipping at her heels.....instead of a 6 lane boulevard jammed with commuter traffic and misunderstanding.

Gems

2011-10-08T01:30:00.001-04:00

Toddler compliment--"Sukey your hair is so shiny and pretty."

Tripod

2011-10-08T01:21:00.006-04:00

Momma and her three chicks cuddling on the couch. Baby boy standing in the middle on my lap-- a girl on each side. Heads bumping....chubby toddler arms wrapped around each girl's neck coupled with a commanding "Let's kiss."

He leans in: A kiss for Gwenny, a kiss for Momma, a kiss for Sukey. Now we all 4 lean in and try to kiss at the same time.
Laughter.
Healing.

We Are The 99 Percent

2011-10-08T00:48:00.005-04:00

These are the stories behind hard times.

Go into the archive.
Pick a day.
Read.
Vote.

Living With Tourette Syndrome

2011-09-23T23:56:00.005-04:00

Our family entered a perfect storm of stress last February. I have been overwhelmed and exhausted for months.

Why?

We are a family living with Tourette Syndrome and its associated co morbid conditions.

We got the first diagnosis of TS two years ago for one child. In the last 6 months the sheer enormity of living with TS has manifested itself in our family life. Just 3 months ago we had a second diagnosis for a second child.

This spring we came out as a family because we were pushed out unwillingly by a change in sports routine. We took a spring hiatus from swimming to try softball. The decision to try a new sport triggered a significant waxing episode for our oldest daughter and then in our youngest daughter who had been hiding her TS. We knew the older daughter had TS, but had only suspicions about the younger. In addition it forced me to confront a growing problem with clinical anxiety that I have been battling for years. Doing so has enabled me to help my family in ways that I had been faltering in.

The details are painful, complex to write about, and deeply personal. I am not sure how I plan on writing about this staggeringly large piece of our family life but I am going to try to do so with respect for each and every one in our precious little family.

The blessing in all the pain of past months is that our family is getting services that we should have gotten years ago. I have made it my mission to seek out help in every way so the children will learn how to live with their Complex TS and move with grace into who they are called to be. It has been a full time job for months now.

I plan on adding a significant section in Bread and Roses on TS and the accompanying co morbid conditions. I am still thinking about what that will look like. Our family has suffered significantly for a variety of reasons. If I can write anything to help other families or share resources to help others avoid some of our pitfalls and snares I will be grateful.

Conversations With Gregory

2011-09-23T23:39:00.003-04:00

In the swim balcony with Daddy last week while the girls practiced, a parent greeted 28 month old Gregory as they strolled past, "Hi there handsome." Gregory looked at Daddy and commented, "She said I was handsome." To which Daddy said, "What does handsome mean Greg?" Greg thought a moment and said, "It means fancy."

Conversations With Gregory

2011-07-25T18:34:00.004-04:00

Daddy has just left for the library with Sukey to attend her weekly summer reading program. This is their date night.

The toddler who has been told no he can't go with them, turns with head hung low to the moping 10 year old who was also told no and says, "Daddy say no library. I packed my things. I have my purse. Ohhhhhh" (heavy sigh). Gwen replies, "I know. I'm devastated."

Tape!

2011-04-08T22:02:00.004-04:00

I let Gregory use his bead sequencing set, from Melissa and Doug, unsupervised today. I have done this a few times. Today he became possessed of unnatural super-toddler strength, and cracked the heck out of it by pulling the dowels out sideways instead of pulling them straight up--which he had been doing. Now it is unusable because the dowels wobble drunkenly when placed into the holes.

Eric just discovered this. I sighed and commented, "I guess I'll have to throw it away." He looked at it thoughtfully and said, "Well, I guess I could fix it if I chiseled out the wood piece the dowel holes are in, got a new piece of wood , and then drilled new holes." I shrugged and said that seems like a lot of work but if you could fix it it that would be great."

As I finished speaking Gregory, who had been listening to this exchange piped, "Tape! Tape!"

*still laughing*

Mean Mean Mean

2011-04-08T11:23:00.003-04:00

Today's toddler chant:

"Mean! Mean! Mean!"

...accompanied by tears and whining indignation
whenever he doesn't get his way.

Helping Hands: Caring For Others One Loop at a Time

2011-04-07T07:26:00.011-04:00

Over the winter Sukey rediscovered our pot holder looms and began making pot holders. They are bright and beautiful. She made a few for neighbors and for me. Then the earthquake devastated Japan. Potholders have loomed large at our house since then.

When a similarly devastating earthquake hit Haiti last year we shared the news that the event had occurred, and showed the girls a few carefully chosen photographs of the devastation. (No television coverage at all. We have very strong opinions about sensationalized television news.) In fact, the events in Haiti were the first large scale disaster that we ever exposed our children to. The girls were horrified. We all knew that we had to do something to help; the scale of the events were almost too large to grasp.

In a strange coincidence, our Girl Scout troop had chosen Haiti several months before the quake as a focus country for a World Thinking Day Girl Scout event. After the quake, we did a service project through their Girl Scout troop in which they donated clothes to a local church clothing drive for Haiti, in addition, girls in the troop donated money from their allowances so we could make a troop donation to Red Cross relief efforts for Haiti. The girls earned a colorful Emergency Planning patch for this project. They learned about service to others, and made a small difference in the world.

We still aren't watching television news this year. However, I did tell Gwen and Sukey about the earthquake in Japan. It seemed to have no impact. Several days later in the car as I was listening to an NPR report Gwen abruptly said, "I want to help Japan. I want to box up a bunch of my clothes and send them there. I don't want a prize or a patch. I just want to help them." It took me a minute then I realized she was remembering what we had done last year for Haiti in Scouts. I told her that we would try to find some way to help.

Later that day inspiration hit. Sukey was making pot holders, we had a lot of loops, maybe we could sell some and donate the money. So I brought the idea to the girls who received it with enthusiasm. We came up with a plan and then they started making pot holders. We set a goal of 30 pot holders per girl at $5.00 each. I posted in several homechooling groups and Eric emailed around at work. The girls asked several neighbors if they wanted to help.

We have learned a lot. Not all pot holders loops are the same. Harrisville Designs loops are by the far the best! We know this by trial and error. Michaels sells loops but they are for decoration only! (Thank you Daddy for reading the bag at the supper table before we opened all 6 of them!) At least we could return them and try ACMoore's loops, which are manageable, but they are very thick, hard to stretch, hurt your fingers, and are awful to crotchet off the loom. When we all got desperate, we finally bought more of Harrisville's loops which are very expensive, at the best price I could find through DC Machine.

So far the girls have made and sold 35 pot holders for Japan. It looks like they won't meet the 60 pot holder goal but we may manage 40+. People in our neighborhood, other homeschoolers, and some co workers of Eric's have bought them to support relief in Japan. We plan on sending what money we have collected to Unicef after Easter.

This has been a great project in so many ways for the kids. They have had to struggle through working with loops that could and have made a grown person curse and cry (think me), they have had to sacrifice play time, and spend their own allowance money (plus a chunk of ours). We spent at least one evening as a family working om this project while listening to music. That evening ended in a very thoughtful heartfelt conversation with Gwen about some things she has been struggling with. The project has taught them about using their time and talents in service to others, and the sacrifices that can entail. They have learned that they can make a difference, manage their anxiety about overwhelming world events, and have fun, all while bringing us all closer together as a family.

No patches needed.

Science Tuesday: Acids and Bases

2011-04-06T16:13:00.008-04:00

I am delighted to report that we have managed 4 Science Tuesdays and one Science Sunday. This may be a new record in continuity for us of a sustained science program.

To quote Gwen and Sukey on the smell of baking soda, water, and red cabbage juice," This smells like Greg's diaper and broccolli." Now that is science! There was a lot of enthusiasm over the sporadic fizzy bursts and beautiful colors made from the tests to determine what was an acid and what was a base. We used red cabbage as an indicator. (I feel so smart now that I know what an indicator is!;-))

Not much else to report except that in an uncanny reflection of Maria at Be Not Afraid we were out of printer ink so the girls used their Science Journals to record their data in.

Glad to be in good company on that!

We continue to be really pleased with this science program. Eric is doing a great job with the girls. They look forward to Tuesday evening and are very happy to be having so much fun with their Dad. We plan to continue through the summer with Science Tuesday and are even talking about having another family join us occasionally. That dad is a civil engineer who designs bridges. He wants to focus on physics! That should be a lot of fun. I am grateful that we now have a consistent focus on science in our home.

Baking with the Boy

2011-04-06T15:18:00.012-04:00

Gregory at 23 months has become quite the little chef. He loves to cook. He has a small apron just his size, a stool that suits him, and a willing heart. He is a pleasure to cook with. He rarely spills anything, doesn't grab, and listens to what I am saying to him. This must be a dream; surely I will wake up soon

When I walk into the kitchen, which is dozens of times a day, if he is with me he says, "Cook? Cook?" Then he will run to the stool folded next to the fridge and pull it out while he says '''tool? 'tool?"

We made Downeast Maine Pumpkin Bread and muffins this afternoon. I have this same recipe in a cookbook of my mother's. I have been making this bread for over 20 years and it is simply delicious.

This bread tolerates a lot of tweaking which is important to me. I have made it quite a few different ways. Usually I use half whole wheat and half white flour. Sometimes I add a 1/2 -1 cup of roasted flax seeds. I cut the sugar to one cup instead of three. I add walnuts or pecans and either regular or golden raisins. Occasionally, I use dates instead of raisins. Today we made a double recipe and used white flour for 5 cups and bread flour for 2 cups. One loaf we made plain, one loaf we added raisins and pecans to, and for the muffins we added chocolate chips and skipped the fruit and nuts. See what I mean; you can tweak this recipe a lot!

With all of my tweaking we have never had a loaf that wasn't good. Now that is a good recipe!

The boy was very impressed with the chocolate chips. As soon as the bag was opened he said, "Some! Some!"

One of Gregory's favorite parts of baking is using the electric hand mixer. He is a big fan of licking the beaters, and begs for them as soon as we are done mixing. Of course the real payoff for him is when he can snag a muffin off the cooling rack.

When we include children in what we do, it always makes the task more complicated. We end up explaining a lot, repeating ourselves, wearing our patience thin (especially me), and working harder. In the end though it is almost always worth it--except when it isn't--and believe me I have had plenty of those "feels not worth it cooking with kids times" also, but I keep trying! Right now, Gregory is easy to cook with, adores me, and wants to be with me every minute; what a gift! I can't turn that down even when I want to be alone, even if it means flour up my nose.

The History of Writing

2011-04-05T22:58:00.015-04:00

In Montessori elementary education The Fifth Great Lesson is "The Story of Writing." This is a crucial lesson for children. Without language, whether it be oral, written, or sign we are hobbled in our ability to communicate. At key points in our human history, cultures around the world developed ways of expressing themselves through writing, taking language and communication to a completely new plane. When the ability to write language and record commerce came about, this was a tremendous advance for human culture. The advent of writing literally begins history. As E.H. Gombrich pointed out, when we know the how, and the why, and the where of something, we are beyond the speculation of prehistory; we are encountering recorded knowable history. Seeking to understand just how important the written word is to human culture is time well spent.

Language shapes us; how we think, feel, and comprehend ourselves, others , and our world. Oral history through songs, stories, and poems, is powerful; but the ability to craft written language, and influence culture thousands of years after your death in your own voice, without the filter of oral tradition, now that is mighty indeed. We are the shapers and the shaped by virtue of language and writing. The gift of writing for pure pleasure to create the beauty of poetry or the pleasure of a well crafted and well written story is the fruit of writing. A life changed is the fruit of writing. Think about your life without the written word, and then be grateful for every book, poem, road sign, love letter, or scrawled writing attempt you have ever read. In celebration of this blessing we have spent a lot of time this past year thinking about the history of writing.

We began our history study this year with a simple but powerful time line lesson using these cards, which have the holy family as the anchor between BC and AD. It is moving even for me to place these cards out and think abut the stretch of time. We also used them with the history of writing cards. We placed the writing cards in appropriate centuries on the time line to see the development of writing over time in different civilizations.

Sukey will pull them out once in a while to set them up. She is trying to wrap her brain around the vastness of time. She is still in the early to middle stages of understanding time. She still prefers to put together a a monthly calendar and do days of the week, months, and seasons work; as she is doing in this picture. Even Gwen, who is more sophisticated in her understanding of the reach of time, will return to those more easily grasped and familiar works.

We used Miss Barbara's Great Lesson Page to help us begin the complex study of the history of writing. We also used these lovely History of Writing cards from Montessori 123 to help us.

We did the first lesson on this back in late September. We used our History of Writing Cards and I read Chapters 3 and 4 from "A Little History of the World" by E. H. Gombrich.

The lesson was pretty lengthy it took us close to two hours to listen to the read aloud and lay out the cards and read them. It was a great morning. Over the course of the next week or so we did 2 projects: cave paintings like the ones in Lascaux--that was a suggestion from Miss Barbara, Gwen did a lovely hieroglyphic letter to her dad, and Sukey wrote a cuneiform letter.

This time around in February we read chapter 3 on SOTW "The First Writing" and "Seeker of Knowledge:The Man Who Deciphered Egyptian Hieroglyphics" by James Rumford. Gwen has since laid out the History of Writing cards several times. Inspired by the SOTW activity book, we decided to do a project in cuneiform and hieroglyphics.

We used air drying clay to make cuneiform tablets. Gwen made several for her own use and then one each for 2 sets of grandparents with their names on them. Sukey made one for the third set of grandparents saying "love." They then wrote colorful notes explaining that the grandparents had to decipher their tablets using the cuneiform charts that Gwen had carefully copied free hand for their use.

In addition Sukey made a chart of hieroglyphics from a stencil we bought at a museum. She wrote a letter in hieroglyphics for her snowbird Mimi and Papa who are wintering in Alabama. They will have to use the chart she made to decipher and read her letter. Their cuneiform tablet and chart were made by Gwen and are waiting to be mailed with Sukey's hieroglyphic letter and chart.

We had some fits and starts with this project. The first tablet that Sukey made to mail away broke. This was very discouraging for her and for several days she refused to work on cuneiform. We have a picture of her tablet though! She finally decided to try again and made a lovely one that was shorter and easier to eek out in wedge shapes with a screwdriver. She wrote "love" the second time around. It arrived unbroken to Gramma Dotty and Grandpa Bruce on the east coat of Florida, where her grandmother promptly sat down and translated it using the chart Gwen made.

Gwen's tablet, note, and chart made it to the west coat of Florida, where that Grandma and Grandpa also promptly sat down and deciphered theirs. The girls loved this project! Gwen has made several more tablets. One of them is an old fashioned New England style needlepoint with the alphabet done in cuneiform for her American Girl doll to use in school!

The girls loved writing cards to their grandparents and then packing up boxes to mail to them. I love that we actually finished something, mailed it, had money for postage even, and have pictures! (We won't discuss the state of my home.)Sukey has finished her letter and we will mail out the last package tomorrow, then we will be finished with this project.

I am going to give The History of Writing lesson with the cards and Miss Barbara's page once more this week, and then we will put this aside and refocus on our other history work for a while. We will revisit the lesson again in a few months when I have enough white lint saved from washing diapers for us to make our own paper. We did this once about 4 years ago. I doubt either girl remembers. It is great fun! Props to my husband for initiating and running that paper project. He will no doubt do so again this time. When we do that, we'll also do an experiment with cuneiform tablets and homemade paper outside in the elements to see how well each hold up to the test of time. This lesson--The History of Writing-- is one that stays fresh. We will be able to pull out the history of writing cards with nearly every civilization we will study. To have a set that has samples of the Roman, Phoenician, Hebrew, etc etc alphabets for the children to look at in conjunction with a time line is very rich. We will continue to enjoy the fruits of The History of Writing. Maybe we'll all become betters writers while we do so!

Knock Knock

2011-04-04T20:05:00.003-04:00

There is no privacy with a toddler.

Last night, as I was using the bathroom before bed, Gregory burst in like a cowboy coming through a saloon's swinging doors. I said, "Gregory! When people are using the bathroom you should knock first before you come in! People have a right to privacy in the bathroom!"

He shrugged his shoulders said, "Okay," very sweetly then promptly left the room closing the door behind him. I heard 4 loud raps, then he opened the door and walked back in.

Well alrighty then...at least he knocked that time.

Gregory Wins

2011-03-31T09:57:00.006-04:00

Nursing is Gregory's avocation. His passion. Gregory will choose nursing with Momma over any other food with the exception of, possibly, ice cream, which he has developed a serious taste for. He has been known to accept food, and then try to eat and nurse at the same time. He is a true hedonist.

Gregory wanted to nurse the other day. (What a surprise.) I had been holding him off for a while; I really needed a break. Finally, his persistence wore me down. I said yes, and then watched in amusement as he ran (not walked) for his pillow. He rushed back, wrestled it onto my lap, and climbed on to lay down. Then, he wiggled excitedly, stretched his arms above his head in a victory cheer, and chanted Yay! Yay! Yay!

Oh my. ...

The toddler was doing a classic victory cheer.

His fierce exuberant joy was a sight to see.

Eric looked at me and said, "Did he really just do that?!"

May our little guy always be so persistent in the pursuit of his goals.

Family Circus: The Bloody Band aid

2011-03-31T09:49:00.003-04:00

Why was there a band aid with a blood spot stuck to my brought from home shopping bag at the grocery store the other day?

First Penance

2011-03-30T08:23:00.008-04:00

I wrote this on January 29th , but life got in the way as it regularly does so I never managed to quite finish it~~

"Today was Susanna's First Penance; it was quite an affair with about 60 children and their families present. It should have been such a moderately simple morning, with a well thought affair marked by prayer, loving support and spiritual cleansing. It was that, and oh so much more.

As usual, we spent the morning racing around trying to get ready and out the door. As usual, we were running late. I would like to blame our tardiness on the fact that Eric had to go register both girls at 9am for softball. Blaming him for everything that goes wrong is usually the first thing that crosses my mind, even when he is not home when I have tripped over my feet on the stairs. I know I am not the only wife who does this--I have heard other wives admit to this. Why do we want to blame our husband's for every little thing?

Alas, I can't pin being late on him. I can pin it on me, my kids, him, life --all of the above. We both could barely manage being on time as single people! The fact is, that with 3 children added to the mix, our family collectively can't seem to get out of our own way to get anywhere or get anything done. We mill aimlessly like naked mole rats lost out of our tunnels. We seem to have a collective congenital defect!

Having said that, truly we do try our very best to be the mature responsible together people that we assume we are supposed to be by now in our late 40's. We try. This however, works in fits and starts. Some years there have been more fits than starts but it's all about progress not perfection right? Except sometimes, I really don't see the progress. Case in point: We are always late. It seems like no matter how hard I try to get things done time slips away from me like a laughing toddler racing down the block. I race after him, but I get left behind frantic and more wound up with every passing second.

Of course today was no exception.

Mark my words, "I will be late for my own funeral." Embrace this about me. Love this about me. In fact I want it on my headstone! I do not do this to be rude to others or because I think I am special. I have an internal clock that runs on magic time pure and simple. I know I'm not the only person doing this. I know many people who also live on magic time; when I mention it their faces light up, they know exactly what I mean. The ones who don't live on magic time smile and secretly cluck their tongues at me.

I keep trying to reset my clock with very little success. I lecture my children about the importance of being on time and preparing early, while I struggle to model something that eludes me. Sometimes this, elusive get ready in plenty of time and out the door without yelling and things scattered everywhere, almost comes into my grasp, but inevitably I am not the first person in the parking lot arriving an hour early to First Penance (as the couple behind us proudly confided--they clearly are not magic timers). I was in the shower an hour before the service while my husband registered kids for softball, the baby played in his room in a diaper, (I note proudly that all had been fed and medicated) and the girls were racing around aimlessly. I was just grateful not to be the last parent walking in with a child. I could smugly and childishly note that several arrived after me. (How shallow can I be?) My husband may have been the last adult to walk in, but hey, he missed the opening prayer before we processed up (which didn't break his heart) and the child was where she needed to be.

Look, my daughter was late for her first communion, because I got the time wrong; she did however, make it into the procession with a minute to spare. I was in the hospital with a newborn, which is a fabulous excuse, but let's be brutally honest here: We probably would have been late even if I wasn't recovering from a c-section that day.

We were late for my son's baptism 4 months later. No matter that it was private and our arrival exactly on time wasn't egregiously late. Though it was noted and commented on by family. (Like I didn't know we were late.) I could offer the excuse that I was entertaining godparents, coping with galling extended family drama, coping with sibling adjustment, helping my atheist husband deal with his tremendous anxiety, Oh! and putting together a buffet for the party after. Did I mention I had an exceedingly needy infant who needed a lot of nursing? All great reasons to be sure. No doubt at all that they were an evil concoction that conspired to make us late, but the fact is I probably would have been late even without that.

But it's progress not perfection that matters right? We get up every morning and we try try again.

When is good enough truly good enough?

An important note here: Be careful what you have rolling around the floor of your car. My smug, childish, "at least someone else is worse than me," interior relief that I wasn't the last parent with a child through the door, was rewarded almost immediately by Monseigneur in his opening address to the approximately 300 people in the pews. More on that in a moment, but first the mini van...

At the moment the mini van looks like a dump. In fact, I am certain that there are dumps that are more organized and clean than my car. What has eluded me for years is prefect harmony and cleanliness in all area of my life. If the kitchen, dining room, and living room are well organized you can be certain that the girls' room will be a disaster. If the girls' room, the boy's room, and the mini van are clean, well then my kitchen is a health hazard and the living is a cyclone of laundry and toys. If all of the above areas are clean, then my bedroom is a train wreck because there isn't enough space in my small home for all of our "stuff," and you can be certain that when I reached the cleaning red line I began piling it in my bedroom. Hence the fact that my room is an archeological dig of Halloween costumes, baby items I am saving, a box of papers from my grammar school days, books, from college, files from Eric's college days, paper back books so old they have that yummy old book smell, (worth their weight in gold for that alone they are), a scary clown night light from my childhood that I won't inflict on my kids, can't throw away, and wish secretly would fall and break into un-glueable pieces. You get the idea.

But I'm wandering. Again.

Back to the mini van. We went to the pediatrician for allergy shots on Friday. I have been using Sukey's asthma flare plan for about 10 days. I thought she was better, but that she might have a little residual wheezing. Well, I was sure wrong about that. Not only was she wheezing, she was wheezing enough to warrant a neb right here in the office. Another case for feeling like a lousy mother, but that is another story. We went home with new tubing and a new mask because they would just get thrown out if we didn't take them. The mask landed on the floor in the front seat. When Eric pulled up to drop us off at the parish hall for today's festivities so he could then go park in East Egypt, several things fell out as I rolled off the crammed passenger seat--a plastic bag and a Mt. Dew bottle. I rescued those. Apparently I missed the neb mask. Do you see where this is going?

The sanctuary was chock full, we were sitting down. Monseigneur had just processed down the aisle in grand style with the line of altar servers, behind the reverently held crucifix. We were all standing as he said an opening blessing. We sat down for his opening remarks. He reached into his robes and pulled out a neb mask. He smiled, and then said "Did someone drop their oxygen mask? I am sure it is an oxygen mask. I found it in the parking lot. Does anyone need this?" He was being humorous, but mostly in a gentle way. He really did want to make sure that if someone needed their mask that they would get it. It added a funny note to the days rather somber air. We were there after all to talk about sin, reflect on sin, confess our sin, and receive the peace of forgiveness.

There was a wave of tittering.

At first I thought, "Oh dear, what a shame." Then I realized almost immediately as I got a good gander at what he was waving that it was Sukey's neb mask. I leaned in slightly to Eric and said,"That is ours." A muscle twitched in his cheek. This was not a good twitch. Like, "What a riot we dropped that. This is so funny. Just like us isn't it?" No, this was a "We just can't get it together what is wrong with us twitch." Could I blame him? We had started this day off badly. My shame buttons were kicking in to to the max. It would have been a little easier to laugh along with everyone else if we weren't the ones who had lost the very mask. If I were a thinner skinned person--someone who could easily at myself without the niggling sense that something is never quite good enough about me--I just might have been able to laugh along with everyone else, and then gone to good naturedly get my mask from the sacristy where the Monseigneur had the altar server carefully place it. I suppose, like private confession, I could have slipped in and asked for it quietly after the mornings events were over, and not been embarrassed, because surely Monseigneur did not expect anyone to stand up and actually shuffle forward awkwardly--frail and elderly with an oxygen tank desperate to claim that mask.

As I later told a friend, "I would rather have died on the spot needing that mask than have claimed it." She wholeheartedly agreed. What does that say about me? What does it say about my church?

That my brothers and sisters is instant karma. I should have felt compassion for those parents who walked in after me, not childish relief.

Perhaps, saving us from public humiliation is the reason we confess privately. The purging of our soul by confessing to another human being our transgressions cleanses us psychologically. We are given the chance to be faceless and anonymous while we dredge out what we least want to face. If we can manage to be that honest. Theologically, it purifies our soul, if we are truly sorry, and accept that the priest is Christ for us in that moment and that we are to receive the gift of God's own forgiveness.

Sometimes this all makes so much sense. Other times it eludes me. Unanchored the wind blows me by long bunny ear sails. Is God, the momma bunny waiting to catch me?

Why do I need the Priest to do this for me? Heresy I know. Why does my baby girl need this?

I am still struggling with that theological point. In fact I am still struggling with a whole host of theological points. While me husband stands beside me roiling with his--I am wrestling with mine. Yet, we stand here together while our daughter in her innocence goes forward trusting in the process. Eric says, I am following your lead. Inside I cry out, "My lead?"

When is good enough good enough?

At this point, when my groom puts his trust in me, Monseigneur pounds the last nail with his innocent jest. Remember, we have barely managed to arrive on time. My husband is seething because he is offended on some deep level about the opening reading saying something along the lines "that we have stopped loving Jesus when we sin" that doing your best isn't good enough. that just by being human we fail Jesus, that we need redemption and forgiveness. He has made two side long comments to me as the reading has progressed about God being better than that, to which I have hissed "Stop it! Not now!" He is incensed that we are being shamed for being human and making mistakes. At any other time if we are in a quiet space I am usually able to try to talk about these things with him. We try to engage each other. See what each other thinks. Sort out what of the orthodoxy I truly believe and what I am resisting and working out in my mind. We talk and try to understand each other but this is not the time.

His morning has been a train wreck.

The magician made a brief appearance this morning as my husband raced upstairs to get his sports coat. He was fit to be tied with me, because well--do you really want to know? The heat of the stress of running around to get ready, dealing with softball sign up, lousy slush covered roads, a miscommunication in what he was supposed to wear, forgotten dress shoes those were just the beginning, or were they?

Those were all the illusions put out there in the middle of our chaos to distract us from what the real point was: That here he was, an Atheist, going to yet another long Catholic ceremony. Why? Because he loves his daughter fiercely and will be there to sit in the pews supporting her while she confesses her sins to a priest, while he rails internally that she shouldn't have to even do this. He will take her picture while she reads an intention clearly and smoothly from the lectern. He will stand and watch her whisper to Sister Mary St. Mark that she wants to be a sister someday while internally he is roiling with a host of feelings that are so complex it could take months to tease them out. His deep devotion and commitment to supporting his baby girl will draw him there to repeat words he doesn't believe in, sing hymns that are empty for him, and make a parent pledge to her that bind us as parents to support her in her Catholic faith.

He will do all of this, when his testimony to her has already been given: In the daily grind of going to work, his unfailing devotion to each one of us, his acceptance of this struggle I am embroiled in with Catholicism, in allowing his children to be brought up Catholic when it is against his every belief, in his faith that someday the girls will think things through and come to their own conclusions, in his hope that they will see through what he believes is the fallacy of Theism, in his desire that they be the best people that they can be, in his conviction that whatever their theological beliefs are he will love them in spite of that-- because of that --because hopefully they will have sorted it out for themselves, and he can ask for no more than that.

All of this while his while love for her shines in a bright fierce halo above his head.

Whose pledge, wafted from whose lips, to God's ears today, I wonder?

Are we good enough?"

We Have A New Voice In Our Home

2011-03-27T13:28:00.015-04:00

At 17 months we had Gregory's speech evaluated. At the time he was delayed and met the criteria for services. The speech therapist said that he had limited affect from low muscle tone in his face, and that the nerves that develop between the brain and his face were underdeveloped. This caused him to be unable to make many sounds even when he tried. He was not babbling and had missed a couple of verbal milestones that he should have had. He had a remarkably high frustration level so it took quite a bit to get him to even try to make a sound. He could manage Ma-ma and a very Godfatherish and raspy DAAAAAAA! He had a grunting sound that he made for any animal that he saw and he made a hooting sound like an owl. The therapist said that he was physically and developmentally on target in all other areas but had a significant delay in speech.

We agreed to postpone the services because the therapist felt that he was too young to benefit from them; she believed he would experience the therapy as frustrating and tiresome, that he was simply too young to cope with therapy physically and developmentally. She recommended that we defer the services and reevaluate him at 20 months if he had not gotten at least 5 words by then. She assured us that waiting until then would not cause him to be further delayed, but that the wait would allow him to mature in all areas so he could handle the therapy if he needed it.

In early December as he was approaching 20 months he had 4 words. Mama, Dada (sometimes Daddy), nu (for nurse), and uh-oh. Uh-oh was a big milestone; 14 months is the milestone for that word and it was one of the reasons he had a deficit when he was evaluated. We decided to wait a little longer to see if would pick up more words before we had him reevaluated. By January 8th he had added mah (he got a mop from Santa for Christmas), and bay-beeee (baby another gift from Santa).

We spent a lot of time encouraging him to speak in the normal course of our day. We added new signs occasionally. He was clearly trying to speak, but his frustration was becoming more apparent as time went on. We would coax him until he made a particular supplicating face and gave a little whiny sound, then when he did that we knew he had enough so we would stop. He was obviously trying and experiencing difficulty forming sounds and new words. We kept hoping he would develop more on his own. He was adding just enough words that we thought we could continue putting off having him reevaluated.

As he approached 21 months in early February he added pea (please) and doh (for dog). He could string together "Mama nu peee" with prompting for each word. He also added kooo-kee or kee-cook for cookies. From that point until early March he added easily about 10-15 words including Mimi and Papa, paaa (pasta), baa baa (for the song Baa Baa Black Sheep), booo (book), caa (car), tu (truck), cuya (color), and apple. Whenever he added a new word he was clearly delighted and we lavished him with praise. He had close to twenty words at the end of February.

Well, the floodgates have opened in a serious breach of silence, in the last 3 weeks Greg has added almost more words than I can count, but I'll give it my best shot:

thank you, teeth, grape, Tukey (sukey), Gen--this is sporadic (Gwen), off, up, go, black, white, yellow, hello, hi, bye, orange, broken, read, color, my, twinkle twinkle, work, party, play, home, house, tree, water, yes, you, um, (used exactly the way you would expect as a place filler while he thinks), whoa, night, day, moon, hush, milk, gum, pop, oh, okay, bubble, pee and poop, penis, bum, button, potty, NO!!!, no way!, cool! (as in nifty, excellent, awesome), Why?, (used absolutely correctly and in a very pleading tone--"Whyyyyyy MaaaaaMaaaaaa??, coat, shoes, talk, toy, ow, pillow, couch, yep, stop, boo boo, go away, marker, pencil, cup, boy, mouth, nose, all gone, ear, eye, do it!, stool, look, diaper, ball, egg, cheese, there, tdown, wipe (as in wipe my face) that, plane, train, toot, (for passing gas) cloth, ewwww! (for stinky things) and a few others that I can't remember right now. He is also starting to string 2-3 words together like--go up, go car, all gone, or 'lo daddy (Hello). He can go through all of "Go Dog Go" and say an important word from each page. We recorded him reading the book to me last week. Soooo cute! Just now as he handed me a cloth to wash his backside he said, "Help you."

Whoa! All of this in the last 3 weeks! There has been a veritable flood of words pouring out of our little guy! Those nerves and muscles have been busy growing and getting strong. He has a beautiful range of facial expression now from flat to very animated with a really nice middle range (which he was missing before) That missing middle range was another significant factor in his early delay. Significantly, he is beginning to talk to himself while he is playing--naming what he is playing with or describing things as when he was carrying around an empty pretzel container today and remarked to himself, "All gone!"

During the last year we have often said that he was listening to everything we said very carefully. In fact we would caution each other about what we said. Greg would often run and fetch something that we were talking about. It was obvious that little ears were listening. We knew that he understood everything we were saying to him, but that he couldn't express himself back to us using words. He became very adept at communicating through pointing, sign, and facial expressions what he desired. His silence made him seem more babyish. This new talking little person seems so much bigger and more developed as a person.

On January 20th a friend watched Gregory for us while we were at Sukey's First Reconciliation. She commented at the time on how eerily silent he was. Several days ago as Gregory was babbling and jibber jabbering up a storm in the living room while we listened and marveled, the house was filled with his loud but musical voice, Eric smiled at me and said, "We have a new voice in our family now; we used to have four, but now we have five!"

Gregory's voice has arrived! Sound the trumpets! It is strong, musical, sweet, boisterous, very opinionated, and most welcome....we are grateful. At least for a while! *wink*

Conversations WIth Gregory

2011-03-27T13:13:00.006-04:00

I rarely wear dresses, but today for Mass I put on a dress that Gregory has never seen; then I came down into the living room where he was pooking around.

He looked up at me ran his hand over the silky material and said, "Whoa!" I laughed and said, "Do you like my dress baby boy?"

He grinned touched it again and said, "Whoa!"

Pray For Each and Every One Part II

2011-03-22T09:20:00.003-04:00

I was so heartened to read the weekly bulletin for the second Sunday of Lent from another parish in my area. In it, the Monseigneur directly addressed the sexual abuse crisis in the Philadelphia Archdiocese.

He spoke eloquently about the many parishioners whose faith has been shaken in the church, and his own shaken faith in the Archdiocese. His understanding of the heartbreak this is causing for clergy and lay folk alike was clear. He asked all Catholics to pray for all victims of sexual abuse at the hands of any perpetrators, and emphasized its sinful and criminal nature. He reminded his flock that we are all innocent until proven guilty; then he fervently prayed a sincere desire for the truth to prevail and justice to be rendered.

My friend who attends that parish emphasized to me that during Mass they had been asked to pray for everyone involved in these sad events. She had no sense at all that people felt anything but horrified and sad.

The church has many parts to form one body. I must remember that today when I revisit my outrage at the use of the phrase "persecution and trial." Words have so much power to frame our perceptions. We must remember their power always.

I wish similar sentiments were being expressed so publicly in my own parish.

Lipsticking Around

2011-03-21T19:26:00.007-04:00

Greg loves chapstick.

Greg loves buckles, zippers, and latches.

Greg loves my purse.

If it is in my purse, in a zippered bag, and is in a tube--- it is irresistible!

Making Candy

2011-03-20T22:53:00.005-04:00

Today Sukey had a dear friend over and they made homemade lollipops. This was a super fun project for them.

Daddy did this with the girls because it required a precision with the candy thermometer that I wasn't prepared to manage, and it was a new; which course makes me immediately convinced that I can't do it. All new things must be approached with great caution and much mental gearing up. I was not geared up.

They initially wanted to make them REALLY sour but decided on being conservative and going with regular sour.

Good Thing!

A Thousand Foot Solar System

2011-03-20T22:52:00.010-04:00

Today we went to the park to do a project that Eric has wanted to do for years. Sometimes kids are a great excuse to do things that are nifty which might make you seem slightly strange; like making a scale model of the solar system to fit into a 1000 foot scale. In addition, we brought along a globe and baseball to approximate the scale of the Earth to the moon from a distance of thirty feet.

To demonstrate that scale, we measured a piece of string 30 feet long and then laid it on the ground in between the globe and the baseball; each girl, with much fanfare, then took a turn holding the baseball and orbiting the globe. We tried holding up our hands and eyeballing our pinky thumbnails held up in front of our faces to the baseball thirty feet away; then in the evening we did the same thing out our front door to the rising full moon and discovered that just as our pinky nails had been the same size as the baseball, they were also the same size as the rising moon! Our approximate scale was correct! Sukey was very pleased by this fact.

After we finished orbiting the moon, we started on the scale solar system project. Eric had researched on line to come up with the the exact distances that each of our system's planets are from each other, and then used that information to calculate a solar system miniaturized to a 1000 foot scale. He used Google maps to find a satellite image of a local park where we could get a 1000 foot straight line. Then he measured out a fifty foot length of string for long distance measuring..

He printed out cards with the sun, and the planets shown in 1000 foot scale size (the sun was by far the largest dwarfing all other planets) with their corresponding information; dimension, distance from each other etc etc. We glued those onto different colored card stock and then he stapled them onto stakes.

At the park we then used a mallet to pound the stakes with their planets at precise distances from each other. For the first several we were able to get away with using his workshop tape measure, but soon we had to pull out the 50 foot string for distances over 300 foot between planets!

This was a real opener for all of us to see just how great the distances are between the planets; especially with the first big jump from Jupiter to the outer planets! The distance in our 1000 foot solar system between the sun and Mercury was only 13 feet and from the Earth to Mars only 17 feet 4 inches, but the jump from Jupiter to Saturn was 144 feet and 5 inches! Then--wowie--the distance from Uranus to Neptune was three hundred and sixty two feet!

To walk this out was impressive. I took video of some of it but no pictures except one last one as it was getting dark and the cold and tired scientists were ready to be done. Eric is going to put all of the information he researched and his calculations into a pdf to make it easy for other people to replicate this project. When it is done I will post it.

Pray for Each and Every One

2011-03-20T22:48:00.019-04:00

Several days before Lent began Cardinal Rigali of Philadelphia put 21 priests from the Archdiocese on administrative leave, because charges involving sexual abuse or covering up of sexual abuse had been found to be credible enough to warrant their temporary removal from active pastoral ministry.

I missed Mass the Sunday after this was announced.

Today at Mass we were asked during the prayers of the faithful to pray for the priests of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia during this time of "persecution and trial" that they would find "fidelity" and a host of other qualities---which I was too stunned to capture in my brain, because I couldn't get past the phrase "persecution and trial." I did not respond with an answering prayer.

What I did in fact do, is stand there in utter disbelief and growing anger that I was being to asked to pray for priests who were being persecuted.

I waited to hear a similar petition for the victims of sexual abuse by priests. There was none.

I waited to hear a petition for the Roman Catholic Church's healing from this plague. There was none.

After Mass I went and asked if I could read the petitions. If I were Cam Jansen I could have said "click" and photographed it into my brain, but I am not Cam. I reread that petition at least 5 times. Yes, I had heard it correctly; I was supposed to pray for priests during this time of "persecution and trial."

The removal at a local parish of their priest due to this action was announced at Masses over the first weekend in Lent. Children were present. Some of them altar servers. I know one who is still not over the over the grief, confusion, and anger about the loss of her priest. The announcement was sudden, unexpected, and and given without warning--with no opportunity for parents to shield their children and present the information at their own discretion.

Why weren't we praying in the prayers of the faithful for confused children and frightened families?

Persecuted priests?

Really??

Is the priesthood under siege? Do priests and religious have a right to feel persecuted? You bet! But it is not by by SNAP, or the Philadelphia District Attorney's Office or the Boston District Attorney's Office, or any other government or group that has victims abused by priests or religious.

The siege is from pedophiles who want access to children. Pedophiles who are drawn to positions of authority and trust where they can sexually abuse children. They choose professions, hobbies, and lifestyles that give them access to children. They are in all walks of life where there are children. They are coaches, teachers, piano teachers, police officers, pediatricians, nurses, child care workers, etc etc. Is every person of the aforementioned a pedophile? Of course not! Pedophiles are hunters who seek their prey; so they are going to be found in higher concentration in professions where they can gain access to children.

That is a simple fact.

It is no surprise that there are pedophile priests. Pedophiles go where they can gain access to children. If an institution proves a haven for them then they will bloom like evil flowers in it.

The real question in all of this is why we have a church that feels it is being persecuted? Instead of crying victim Mother Church should be standing up in righteous indignation with a raging wrath worthy of an Old Testament Prophet--or a mother bear protecting her cubs--- and will with all her force and might that abuse and abusers be rooted out of our beloved church with the same vengeance and thoroughness that we showed to the millions of woman burned, drowned, and tortured in the Inquisition.

Jerusalem is weeping for her children.

In 2002 when the sexual abuse scandal was rocking the Archdiocese of Boston, I attended my nephew's baptism at the Easter Vigil. It was beautiful. During that Mass, the Priest--a young well liked man--knelt humbly before the assembled congregation and asked us fervently for forgiveness for the sins of pedophile priests. The Bishop had asked every priest in the diocese to do so. It was moving, saddening, and incredibly powerful to witness the priest; the representative of Christ kneel down and beg for forgiveness from us and God. I will never forget it.

I don't need my priest to kneel down and beg the assembly for our forgiveness, but I do need my church--my priests--to stand up and protect the flock with their very lives--not to be sheep beaters. I need them not to wail that they are being persecuted by victims who stand to gain nothing but shame, notoriety, and snubbing from people who can't bear to look at the shadow underside cast by the mighty figure of the church.

So, let us pray that that the checks and balances that the Church uses to screen applicants to the priesthood are the absolute best that they can be to weed out abusers of children.

Let's pray that our Cardinals, and Bishops, and our Pope will cherish us-- their sheep--and be protectors of the flock instead of Hirelings who cower and run away. The Good Shepherd will lay down his life for his sheep. He doesn't aid and abet in our abuse.

Who wrote that petition?!

Let me be clear, I will not pray a poorly thought out insulting prayer that paints priests as cravenly pathetic victims who need to be protected from the "persecution" of now adult children who clamor for righteousness and justice for sins committed against them by their sinful twisted shepherds.

I will pray for Mother Church .

I will pray for all priests

.... the innocent of which there are many...

.... the wrongly accused of which there are some....

and

... the justly accused--even one is too many. God who is all merciful will be their judge and savior.

I will pray for the survivors.

I will pray for all of their families

I will pray for parishioners reeling from the loss of their pastors.

I will pray for the Church.

All priest and religious should welcome the chance to purge their ranks of those who would harm children, those who would abet them, and those who would conceal them NOT wring their hands and whine that they are being persecuted. Nor should parishioners and parish councils do so! Let the bright light of honesty and truth shine. Christ who is our light in the darkness will prevail.

If these priests are innocent of what they are accused of, then they can remain steadfast knowing that God who knows all and is their final Judge, sees their clean and pure hearts.

To quote District Attorney Seth Williams--
"I love my church but I detest the criminal behavior of priests who abuse or allow the abuse of children."

We should all be praying for the whole body of Christ. We need it now more than ever.

Amen.

Our Study of Eygpt

2011-03-13T12:36:00.025-04:00

We started studying Egypt in early February; we will be wrapping up with that soon. It has been a lot of fun and have gone really deep with this part of our World History study. I have a few nifty works from our last Egypt study several years ago: We have some nice 3 part cards, a wooden Haba pyramid, some good books, real sand from the Sahara and money from modern Egypt, a hundred piece floor puzzle of a tomb, and small excavation kit. In addition to using all of these materials, the girls have read a nice combination of fiction and non fiction from the suggested reading list in SOTW. They have also read some books that we already had from our study of Egypt several years ago. I am We have done one of the suggested activities from the SOTW activity book and they are working on lapbooks also. Sukey is doing a one folder modified lapbook and Gwen a full 3 folder lapbook.

This site at Squidoo has a lot of great Egypt related links. This is where I found the Knowledge Box Central lapbook. I have not let the girls read the parent guide that comes with it unattended; I previewed it and the section on Cleopatra is too adult for my taste, but the actual lapbook is great. I did let them read a few things on their own in the guide; however, such as the crop section, the section on children, and the information on games. I am pleased that all their additional reading on Egypt has helped them to do much of this lapbook without referring to the guide.

Several times in the process of doing the lapbook Gwen has had to stop and run to grab a book to look up information that she couldn't quite remember from her reading. I think it is better than her just reading the lapbook guide and then parroting it back. When we did our first lapbook at Thanksgiving we relied heavily on the guide. I think the learning that a lapbook can assist with is much deeper when the child is pulling it out of their independent reading from multiple sources. I was very happy that Sukey also managed to do this when she was writing in her mini book about Egyptian religion; she remembered reading something in a book and was able to find it and then read it to me. In fact, she got so excited that she then asked me if she could read the entire book about gods and goddesses aloud to me; of course I said yes to this!

This site has some nice kid friendly information on Egypt. I have let Gwen browse through it. It is by Mandy Barrow.

There are several other sites that the kids have enjoyed. Horrible Histories, Clickable Mummy, and Tour a Tomb.

We had a barrel of fun making canopic jars! in SOTW they use paper mache, but that was too complicated for me so we used gravy jars and air drying clay. After the jars were cleaned and the labels peeled off we took the clay and molded a thick piece directly to the top of the jar lid; then we used hunks and molded the heads that we each wanted to do. I made one also! They took several days to dry fully. After they dried we painted them. I wasn't confident at all that paint would work well on the clay but they painted up beautifully. A lesson learned for me yet again: Gwen wanted to paint hers in abright colors; she had sculpted Qubehsenuf, the falcon god who guarded the intestines. I balked at this and wanted her to paint the falcon in 'real colors." She stood her ground and insisted that she had seen them in a book painted in different bright colors. So she got a book to show me while I looked up different pictures on the web. She was right of course we could paint our heads in any color combination we wanted. There was clearly creativity and artistry to the painting of the heads.

This is a lesson I need reaffirmed regularly: I need to be more flexible and open to creativity and difference. I get stuck in ought to, should be, and we can't a lot. This has always interfered when we do art projects or things that are a little free flowing and creative. I am aware of it and I struggle with it a good deal. I am glad that I listened to her and suggested that she look it up while I did the same so we could see what examples there were of canopic jars. I am really way too uptight. That difficulty overcome, the girls then had a blast painting their heads.

We decided that mine was a Jiggle or a Jacklet; while it has great ears and fabulously evil eyes, sadly, despite my best efforts, it has a decidedly piggy nose. I think Sukey's jackal looks like a very happy terrier! She added stylish eyelashes and deep set girlishly round eyes. We all agreed that Gwen's is uncannily owlish. She paid great attention to making dozens of swirly feathers all over her falcon's head and styled quite large layered round eyes. At first I thought it was the feathers that made hers owlish, then a friend commented this past weekend that it was the round eyes giving that affect, and of course she was right! We made organs to put inside our jars. We carefully wrapped them in linen after mummifying them, perfumed them, and added some jewels. This was tremendous fun and kept us all very engaged in our Egypt study.

We have also done a fair amount of work on the History of Writing during our study of Egypt, but that is a different post. I am trying to move the girls through their lapbooks; however, we have gotten a bit sidetracked with a pot holder service project that is taking a lot of our time. More on that project another day! We could get sucked into Egypt for weeks and weeks more I am sure but all good things need to come to an end. On to Sumeria!

My Brag Book: Junior Olympics

2011-03-12T21:37:00.008-05:00

We have a Junior Olympian in the family. Gwen swam today at Junior Olympics. She seeded 58th in 50 freestyle with 31.77

She finished in 41st place with a new personal best at 31.15. She was confidant, excited, and focused. Her streamline was excellent and she regulated her breathing beautifully.

We had a fantastic day even if the natotorium was an absolute sauna! Gwen got a pretty bright blue sweatshirt with her name, event, and and our region's Junior Olympic logo on it.

We went to dinner at Friendly's at her request. a great time was had by all!

We are every proud. More importantly she is very proud of herself. Swimming again proves to be so healthy and right for her.

This is Gwenny beaming with the head coach of her team.

Science Tuesdays

2011-03-10T15:15:00.012-05:00

Last month Eric and I spent quite a bit of time deciding on a science curriculum. The one I was trying to use, Standards Based Science Investigations, never really got off the ground. What I finally realized was that the books were not a curriculum. They have great experiments on a wide variety of topics but they are not intended to be a cohesive science curriculum. I should have spent more time thinking about them before I bought them. This time I spent a lot of time looking at science curricula on line and thinking about what I wanted to cover with them. I also thought about the Montessori approach to these subjects and realized that I needed to seriously restructure what I was doing. No doubt SBSI will come in handy at some point but they are put away for now.

We have decided to try Real Science-4-Kids. We are using the Chemistry Pre Level 1 set now. Eric and I read the books on line. The publisher provides the complete text to read before you buy. After reading them we decided to go with the pre level even though Gwen is capable of handling the Level 1. It would have been too difficult for Sukey and we decided that we could ramp up the work for Gwen more easily than scaling it back for Sukey. I found a great resource to use for Gwen. Many thanks to Beth at Eclectic Living. She has a wonderful Google Docs resource that she put together for use with Real Science-4-kids.

We have had Science Tuesday two weeks in a row now and they have gone very well. Eric is a saint of patience with the kids and they love working with him. The first week they learned about observation and how important that is in science. They spent 2.5 hours observing at cashews, almonds, penne and battery. (What a snooze eh?) It sure seemed like it would be, but they loved thinking about and trying to remember what the characteristics of each of those items are and then comparing what their memories of each were to what each actually looks and feels like. When they were done I said to Eric, "I can't believe how interested they were in what you were doing." He laughed and said, "I know it seemed so boring!" We both agreed that the kids were relishing having Daddy teach them a subject and that it was a good thing that the most boring lesson was the first one when they were the most eager to be with him!

The second week they learned about atoms and molecules and some of the rules governing them. They spent about 2 hours building marshmallow molecules. They had a great time and never ate even one. Daddy has a strict no eating rule while doing science. Especially the food in the experiment.

I read the chapter in the book as a read aloud to them in the afternoon. Then in the evening when Eric is setting up I re-read it. So far this has worked well. Next week I will have Gwen spend some time doing some extension work to add some more depth for her.

They are both keeping a binder with their lab notes 3 hole punched inside of them.

So far so good!

My Brag Book

2011-03-09T14:59:00.010-05:00

The girls had their swim team banquet 2 weeks ago on Friday. It was a great night for them. We happened to seat with one of our favorite families which made the evening very pleasant all around. The banquet is always a good time it gives the kids an opportunity to hang out with friends, be dressed in nice clothes--not wet suits--have fun, and receive some recognition for all of their efforts. What I particularly admire about this team is the obvious lengths to which the coaching staff goes to recognize all the children for their efforts. They do not focus on just the fast swimmers. They reward sportsmanship, perseverance, good humor, work ethic, commitment, and team spirit. Many children are given humorous awards simply for the funny things that they do. It is always a fun evening.

This was a great night for our girls. We knew that Sukey was going to get some awards, and that she had broken a record, but we had no idea that Gwen was going to be awarded some honors as well.

Gwen broke 5 team records for 10 and under girls! Four were individual and one was a medley relay. She also received a trophy for most improved girl in her swimming group! We did not expect this, though we knew that she had really turned some significant corners this year. The team is broken into 4 colors: maroon, white, red, and silver. Gwen won hers for the red group girls. This was a big honor as it reflected much more than her fast times; the trophy is also based on commitment, work ethic, and attitude which are all area she has really made huge strides in the last year. She is truly swimming for the love of it this year and not just because we think it is good for her. Her good attitude and interest in being the best she can be was noticed by the coaches.

Sukey also broke a team record! In fact it was one her sister set last year in 25 yard butterfly. Gwen took that with good graces. We told her that records are meant to be broken! Sukey also received her medal for placing 9th in 25 yard fly at A Champs.!This was a great achievement for her. She seeded 14th and took 9th against a great field of 8 and unders. It was a big night for her. She is still proud of the fact that she made A's in an individual event and came in in the top ten! Something big 'sis hasn't even managed. While Gwen made A's last year she didn't make the top ten. Sukey also made summer A's where she took home a second place medal. Gwen has only taken 4th place. Sukey continues to make huge strides as a swimmer. She has faster times and is a stronger swimmer than Gwen was at 8 years old! We are very interested in watching her unfold as a swimmer. She has a lot of potential.

Two days later on Sunday Gwen qualified for our region's Junior Olympics in the 50 yard free style! She has been striving for this for months and managed to qualify in the last meet before JO's.

We are so proud of both girls. They are really blooming into themselves as swimmers and persons. They have great relationships with their coaches, the other swim families are great people, and we enjoy seeing all of the kids swim their hearts out.

Gwen will swim on March 12th. We hope the best for her. (The pictures are of the girls with the head girls coach.)

Swimming Lessons

2011-03-08T21:19:00.008-05:00

There is a man on the coaching staff for Gwen's swim team. He is in his late 20's. He is stern but fair and often funny. He is a bit like a drill Sergeant. Perhaps he missed his calling! Many of the younger kids are intimidated by him. Some kids actively dislike him.

In the past Gwen has been unyielding in her assessment of Jack. "He yells at us a lot and makes us work way harder than the other coaches. I don't like him." I think it's clear what camp she has been in.

Today we were talking as we emptied the dishwasher. Out of the blue Gwen said:

"Momma, I really like Jack. He 's a great coach."

"Really? "I thought you didn't like Jack because he yells a lot and makes you work hard"

"Well, I've noticed something about when he gives us a talking too."

"Oh is that so? What have you noticed?"

"I always learn something when he does that."

Love the team. Love the coaches. Love what swimming is doing for our kids.

Milestones and Memories

2011-03-08T07:18:00.082-05:00

Today is brought to you by by the letter "G." Since today is Gregory's 22 month birthday he is star of the day. My last picture post exclusive for him was in August of 2009 when he was 4 months old!

I am still catching up on posts from the year long hiatus I took from writing. That was a tough year. I may not have been writing, but we were living our life and I have lots of pictures to prove it!

Have I said recently that my son is the cutest and sweetest little boy ever? I can say that because he's mine. What follows is a shameless fest of cuteness!

So with no further ado....here are some pictures with narration by Gregory....

This photo was taken of me at 2 days shy of 5 months old. Check out my giraffe!

This is another from that set. "Love my Momma..."

Momma made me put this one in!

From August 2009....

Tummy tubbing with cousin Melanie.

Smiling for Melly.

Posing with Grandma.

On my first camping trip at 3 months old!

Almost swaddled...

Snug as a bug in my rug....

Nursing at a service project for Scouts. We have nursed at the zoo, in museums, at Mass, parked in the car, pulled off in rest area, in malls, at swim meets, in a horse barn, at the aquarium, at state parks, in campgrounds, on Mountains, at the pool, at parades, during recitals, in amusement parks, at the movies, during plays....well you get the idea!

A job well done! "Note my comb over hair strips. Daddy shaved me soon after !"

Papa giving me a bottle. He and Mimi came for my baptism.

The girls and me with Mimi.

Did I say I love baths?

This is me with my Godmother.

This is me with my family and my new Godfamily!

This is me with Mimi and Papa. I was very cranky by then. So I didn't pose very nicely.

They finally took that dress my Momma made me wear off and now I am just pooped. this is my Godfather!

I feel better now and Auntie Terry makes me smile.

This is so much better. It is nice out and Papa is holding me. Why do people get dressed up anyway?!

Momma says I am so sweet

This is my formal portrait for my baptism. In the outfit made by my Grandma Dotty.

All I can say is I love my Momma a lot so I wore this to make her happy. It worked....Am I smart or what?

This is me at the aquarium. There were lots of big nifty fish there.

September 2009

My 4 month birthday party. Has anyone ever mentioned that Sukey likes to throw parties?

See what I have to put up with?

This is Momma with me at the horse barn.

Momma loves how sweet I am in this picture.

I prefer this one!

October 2009
School with Gwen and Sukey.

Just hanging out.

Daddy's favorite.

Beer I mean!

Gramma Dotty and Grampa Bruce visiting us in October.

Swimming in my saucer!

Halloween was a blast! I loved being a giraffe.

November 2009

Here I am just learning to stand up. It was hard but I liked practicing.

I used to get really sleepy when I bounced in my jolly jumper.

Here I am figuring out my whirling twirling garden.

Here I am eating cereal for the first time. I got so excited that I was wacking my legs over and over with my hands!

December 2009

At Gwen and Sukey's Girl Scout Investiture.

After we all saw the Nutcracker.

St Nicholas came on December 6th!

I only need nebs once in a while. But I am usually very patient.

I am really cozy here in Momma's arms at Sukey's Irish Dance recital.

Sleeping on Santa's lap.

Yes I am really in there!

Cuddly with Sukey.

Every now and then Momma has a fit and poses me. We should just move on....

We're decorating the Christmas tree!

Posing for Daddy!

Look what Santa brought me...a highchair!

Me and Daddy! I am pretty sure he has a bear growing out of his head. What's up with that?

Momma says we have to stop here. She says we can do 2010 in another post. I am exhausted from all of this picture choosing!

"Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers"

2011-03-06T19:35:00.009-05:00

If you haven't read "Hold On to your Kids" by Gordon Neufield and Gabor Mate you need to put it on your must read soon list. There are numerous book reviews on this book. Look at some and then check it out from your local library before you buy it. (Most of what I am about to say will make much more sense if you have read the book.)

I checked it out and then read it in 3 days. It opened my eyes in several profound ways. I will never again feel like I have to "socialize" my homeschooled children. I have struggled for years under the mis-perception that I had to create numerous opportunities for my children to meet other children. I had really fallen prey to the idea that my kids had to have friends. A lot of them. That they needed as much opportunity as I could provide for them to interact with other kids. I went out of my way to put them in homeschool groups, enroll them in classes for homeschoolers, and take them on field trips. I even created a homeschool girl scout troop for them!

Rich as many of these experiences were, I see now that all my children have ever really needed was a deep abiding attachment to me and their father and other loving adults who cherish them. Peer relationships will come eventually in good time. They are not necessary or even important for them. A few friends to play with occasionally will suffice. More carefully put--a few friends whose parents we know and hold similar values are more than enough.

Sounds radical doesn't it? Surely our kids need a host of friends and peer experiences?

Well actually no, they really don't.

I read this book and it became so clear to me why my husband and I have struggled to get attachment parenting right with our kids as they got a little older--which we did so well when they were babies--but couldn't seem to keep living out as they became school aged. We are peer oriented ourselves. I can see clearly that I was peer oriented by at least 5th grade. That is another long story, but suffice it to say that I see myself clearly in the alienated parent estranged disdainful of adults children that the authors describe. My desire--my husband's desire to not be estranged from our kids is what drove us from their births to attachment style parenting. However, as they got older our own peer attachment led us to believe that our kids needed peer attachments as well. The result has been that we have been attempting to cultivate our own relationships with them and adhere to an exhausting schedule of peer relationship development.

We have not understood that peer attachment comes at the cost of the very closeness we both desire with our children.

We have surely done some things well. We have strictly limited television and computer time. Our children don't have hand held games or cell phones. They aren't sucked into instant messaging, texting, and email. They love spending time with us. In fact they crave time with us and desire our attention. W e have worked hard to nurture those bonds and even with the many parenting mistakes we have made they still mostly prefer us over their peers.

I am so grateful for that!

We have helped them to foster caring relationships with older adults in our neighborhood. We have striven to maintain close grandparent relationships for them even though we live many hundreds of miles from all of our family. Those grandparents have worked hard at cultivating and nurturing strong bonds as well. We have helped the children develop consistent nurturing relationships with swim coaches over a period of years. This continuity with the same team and coaches over the last 5 years has definitely contributed to their emotional health and development.

Other things we have not done so well in; inconsistent discipline, using time outs, not managing our own frustration and anger well, not being organized enough, using peers to get a break from child care or so we can get projects done, using consequence and punishment to discipline instead of reconnecting through attachment to get the desired behavior.

I have been agonizing over my worries about my children having friends for years.

It was really a revelation to read just how important attachment to loving adults is for children and not attachment to peers. As I said, my husband and I have always been attachment parents most especially when they were young--I breastfed for years, we co-slept, we baby wore. Over the years while we have made our fair share of mistakes, in discipline especially--we have always tried to keep our attachment strong. As much as we did that--I am so grateful we did-- we fell prey to using peer attachment to get a break from child rearing.; a common problem for families like ours with no extended family around to share child rearing with. We have also used the punishment and consequence style of discipline that is discussed in the book. It has never really worked well for us. In fact that style is anti-attachment and has been sabotaging our best efforts to remain connected with our children. We have truly struggled to find ways that work to get consistent cheerful cooperation from our children but have never been able to find ways that worked. On some intuitive level we have always known that attachment was the key. We kept striving for it but we were not effective.

Well, this book has shown us the way. All of the worry about friends and socialization are gone for me now. It will be hard to cut back some of the peer attachments but by no means is that insurmountable. Though there will be fewer breaks for us through peers, we will learn to ask the adults who are present in our life more consistently to help us care for our children by spending time with them. What will actually be harder for us will be the consistent application of the methods of discipline through attachment that are explained in the book. That is a whole shift in approach which will take real effort and reframing for both of us as parents. It will be hardest for me, because of the two of us I am by far the most authoritarian and harsh, but the benefits to our family will be priceless. I am so deeply grateful that I read this book.

You should read this book. I promise you won't be sorry.

Holding Back

2011-02-25T12:51:00.006-05:00

It is pouring outside right now. Gwen is riding her bike around the block. She is smiling like crazy, soaked to the skin through her winter coat, and happy.

I am restraining my interior "What will the neighbors think" voice. My own mother's interior voice, "We don't put ice cubes in warm milk."

It is 57 degrees. she will not freeze to death. It is not dark out.

I am trying to recapture spontaneity in our homeschool. Choice. I have been stressing that she needs to choose for herself what she wants to do within the parameters of her learning contract without me directing everything.

Well she chose. It says right on page 3, "physical education."

She said, "Momma, I want to do physical education." To which I replied, "Well what do you want to do?"

"Ride my bike."

At that point the rain had stopped. I said yes. Now it is pouring. I just zipped to the door thinking I would call her in. Maybe drive around to find her. She was riding up the street with a giddy smile on her face. I said, "Don't you want to come in?'

"Nope! This is fun!"

I told her to be careful and stay close and then I ignored those other voices and I left the door open so the toddler could watch her through the glass and squeal in delight. Every time she went out of sight he ran to Sukey and me to loudly voice his concern. We would send him back to the door. Squeals of joy would resume.

She just came in. Dripping like a wet cat.

Sparkling.

Off to a hot shower then we will all have some 'Which Came First Soup.

Today the frequently ignored "Let them get dirty roll in the dirt and stomp in puddles" voice won.

May she win more...

Amen.

Can We Be Done With This Please?

2011-02-24T11:50:00.011-05:00

February has been sick month at our house. It started at the tail end of January with a cold that Eric got. Since then that cold has gone through the whole family. It is the cold from hell. I have not been this sick with a cold or asthma in at least 10 years. I actually had to do nebs for 10 days every 4-6 hours when the cold seized my chest. I got a z-pack when it was clear I had an infection and 10 days after finishing it had a serious relapse over this last weekend. I picked up something else and had a fever for a day and then wheezing that was so bad on Monday that I thought I might end up in the hospital. Whoa. Today I sound like I have TB but I actually think that my lungs may be on the mend finally.

In late January both knees gave out in the random fashion that has plagued me for years. Though usually it is one at a time. I finally went to an orthopedist last week when one knee fixed itself (like the usually do) and the other one stubbornly refused after a month to get better and instead caused me so much pain I couldn't sleep at night. I found out I am developing arthritis. *sigh* I really haven't felt good in 6 weeks. I am grateful for the cortisone shot though because now the pain in my left knee is finally gone and I can stop planning every trip up and down stairs like a general preparing on two fronts.

Eric, as we go into our 4th week with this cold, sounds like a barking seal with a dry tight cough. His sleep is fractured and for an insomniac who sleeps lightly and takes forever to fall back asleep, you can imagine what havoc middle of the night coughing jags are wreaking on his rest.

Last week I went to the pediatrician yet again for Sukey's wheezy chest. I left with prescriptions for all three kids. A sinus infection for Gwen, ear infection for Greg, and a chest and sinus infection for Sukey. She has spent the month of February having nebs 4 times a day except for the more serious every 4 hour series early in the month. Today Greg's ear is crystal clear, Gwen's sinuses are looking better, and Sukey is even sicker. I knew that she was not getting better. I told Eric yesterday that we would leave with an oral steroid today. She woke me at 5am to ask for a neb treatment. She never does that. So today she scored a round of steroids, another round of an even stronger antibiotic, and nebs every 4 hours round the clock. Perky girl looked sick as she stood in the doctor's office today.

We will be at the pediatrician on Monday to recheck Sukey to make sure she is not progressing to pneumonia.

"Uncle" I say. "Uncle." We need a break. It is a wonder that we have manged school at all this month. We have done a lot and we've actually managed some quite good work. If I weren't so exhausted I might even write about it. But a warm fire is calling and a hot cup of tea. Then I will have to go to the store to pick up more sick food and more prescriptions at the pharmacy.

In all of this sickness we had A Champs where both girls swam very well. Sukey took ninth in her 25 yard butterfly! Imagine if she were well! Gwen had a USA swim meet that she swam in like a trooper even though she was sick as a dog with this cold and she still managed to get two personal bests! Imagine if she were well! Life does go on though doesn't it, even when we feel awful?

The house has been a nightmare to keep up with. Though we have all eaten, grocery shopping has been done, we have clean clothes, and the Christmas decorations that I left up --since they are mostly winter decorations--all came down outside and inside over the last week. I have even managed deep cleaning a few spots. Imagine if I were well! The girls have seen friends and made most of their outside obligations--though swim practice has been sketchy, especially for our wheezy girl.

I called a sick day after that doctor's visit and the girls are watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. This is Sukey's reward for finishing this read a loud with Daddy. (No movies until the book is read first. That's our policy.) We watched it as a family a few nights ago the day after they finished it. It goes back to the library today. She really wanted to see it again. Assignment: compare and contrast the book to the movie. How is the movie different from the book? What changes did the filmmakers make? Is the story affected by this---wait forget that.... it's a sick day right?

Enjoy the movie!

Family Circus: 2:45 am

2011-01-26T20:05:00.005-05:00

Sukey likes to plan parties. She gets it into her head that she wants to plan one, and from there, well anything can happen. A year ago, right before Thanksgiving, Eric and I woke up at 7am to a party in out living room that consisted of exhibits ranging from a bottle cap collection to an assortment of My Little Ponies to books "for your reading pleasure" to a hodge podge of nic nacs. We were given tickets for our admission to the exhibit and a sit down breakfast of fruit, stone cold toast, soggy cereal, and large glasses of milk. Gwen had been enlisted to help with this party. Sukey enthusiastically told us they had been up since 4am putting it together. Hence the soggy cereal and cold toast. We sat in the crepe paper and balloon decorated living room, with its piles of exhibits, while each girl put on a show for us --Gwen telling jokes--Sukey Irish Dancing--as we blearily watched we munched animal crackers and fruit.

It was cute. It was creative. It was a little nutty. It took a long time to clean up. I needed a lot of coffee.

Last Thursday at 2:45 am Sukey came into our room and whispered to me," Momma, I had a bad dream." I had been laying there trying to ignore the fact that I really needed to get up for a middle of the night bathroom visit. I shot up, hugged her, and asked about her bad dream. She launched into a lengthy description. As I rubbed her back and adjusted to the dim light, I realized she was wearing a silky dress and had an apron on. I was now fully awake. I interrupted her dream sequence.

"Why do you have a dress and an apron on?"

"Ummm...for the party."

Sigh

"What Party??"

The party we're putting on for you.'

"How long have you been up?'

"A little while...."

"I have to go to the bathroom. You need to be done with this It's almost 3:00 o'clock in the morning Sukey!!"

I stomped to the bathroom. I came out moments later and heard noises downstairs. Why? I thought she would be in her room getting back into bed. I went downstairs. The coffee table was decked in a pretty cloth with 4 tea cups and small snack cups of animal crackers. There was a bowl with little chits for hot and cold drink orders. Mt. Dew, beer, coffee, milk, tea. There was a chair blocking access to the living room. Clearly a ticket was required.

I looked into the dining room. A large bowl of fruit centered the table with my brand new blue woven table cloth. Four place setting were arranged. The high chair was set with a cup plate, and toddler knife, fork, and spoon. She had clearly been up for a while.

She had a plan.

"What are you doing now?'

"Just finishing up a few things before I go to bed."

I began unraveling. I was recovering from a stomach bug, Eric was home sick with a nasty chest cold, the baby was in his usual hog the bed sleep stealing spot in my bed, and here I was at 2:45am downstairs with party girl trying to disengage her from party planning and set up. I was barely civil.

"Upstairs now! This is not the time to be putting a party together. Are you serious? I am exhausted. You have a cold. You should be resting. I should be resting. How long have you been up?! You can't be serious! This is not what you should be doing in the middle of the night! Just how long have you been up? Do you get up and wander around in the middle of the night often? Why on earth did you come and wake me to tell me you had a nightmare when you have CLEARLY been up for quite a while planning a party!"

"It was a little creepy being up in the middle of the night and I got a little scared."

Sigh

Sigh Again

"Okay can we please just go to bed now and talk about this in the morning?"

"Okay."

We trooped upstairs. I went into their room and Gwen's bed was empty! Where was Gwen? She hadn't been downstairs. Now I was really unraveling....Anxiety set in. I turned to Sukey, "Where IS Gwen?"

"I don't know?"

"What do you mean you don't know?"

I turned in a near panic and raced to the top of the stairs crazy middle of the night anxiety rattling me. I stopped dead with a shriek--creeping up the stairs dressed in a long white dress and poncho--was Gwen. Where had she been? Hiding downstairs somewhere? Why yes! In fact that is exactly what she was doing. Hiding in the corner by the piano hoping that she could creep upstairs unnoticed after I went to bed. Except she heard me asking where she was and came to meet her doom knowing I would be fit to be tied.

Yes by this time I was undone. I did the clenched teeth red faced stage whispered "Just what are you doing young lady at 3:00 in the morning" speech. I really can't remember what I said I was so unwound. I sent them to bed and then lay there for an hour trying to go back to sleep, only to awaken when I finally fell asleep, to my husband in a coughing spasm searching desperately for cough drops. I resettled again maybe 30 minutes later to jerk awake to leech boy crying for the breast. All in all--an exhausting evening.

The next morning I found a detailed party plan on a post it on the desk in Sukey's handwriting. It was time stamped: 2:00 am. It detailed all of the preparations. Every detail. Next to it was a piece of paper with separate "Dressing Plans" and a special note about "Love Cards./Hearts to cut out and pass around." On this paper were hearts for each family member with a love note from Sukey.

"I love my Mama she's a great mom, cook, cleaner, laundeyer, (sp) nurse, driver, yeller, (hee hee) and story teller :-)"

Maybe she'll be a party planner. Or a wedding organizer. Maybe she'll just be an enthusiastic puppy who wants to plan parties for her friends all the time. Whatever it is she will approach it with zest, creativity, joy, and devotion. Her heart does run over with love.

Now if I could only appreciate it at 3:00am.

Locks of Love

2011-01-15T20:16:00.007-05:00

In the spring of 2010 Gwen and Sukey both donated hair to Locks of Love At the time Sukey's hair was so long she could sit on it! The stylist told her that she could donate twice if she wanted too, but Sukey wanted her hair to be at least shoulder length so settled for one 10 inch donation.

Yesterday, Sukey again donated 10 inches to Locks of Love. She is sporting a stylish new look now. She has a sporty shoulder length bob and is looking decidedly cute.

Gwen's hair grows at a much slower pace than her sister's so she opted for a cut taking 4 inches off with some layering to smooth out the bangs she is growing out.

It always feels so good to get a cut!

Locks of Love is a great charity. If you have a child who wants to help out it is a nice option. Most salons offer a free cut for people who are donating their hair. We gave the stylist a nice tip and Sukey left feeling like she had done something important to help out kids who need nice wigs.

The Ruler of Typer Island

2011-01-15T18:50:00.010-05:00

We got the girls a new typing program this month called Typing Instructor For Kids Platinum. We used a free program called BBC Typing last year. The girls loved the BBC program ,but they had both finished it and really needed something more challenging with more opportunities for practice. The Typing Instructor fits the bill. It has some nifty games in it which the girls are really enjoying.

Yesterday, Gwen was utterly absorbed in typing for about 45 minutes. I began to hear slightly spooky music so I went to see what she was doing. Plus I needed her to stop working so we could set the table for lunch. I said, "Gwen, what are you doing?" "Momma, shhhh--wait-- NOT NOW! I'm the RULER of Typer Island!" "Well--I need you to stop for lunch." '" I can't! I'm the ruler and I have a lot to do!!"

Several minutes later--"Gwen, I need you to stop typing. Did you start something new?" Sukey pipes in, "Wait Momma wait! CAN'T YOU SEE THIS IS TIMED?? She can't stop now!!"

Oh my...

Who knew typing could be so fun? And all for $11.00 (Though I see the download price has gone up slightly.)

Loving this typing program.

My Brag Book

2011-01-15T15:39:00.008-05:00

Gwen and Sukey continue to shine in the pool. I went to their meet today. I haven't been to a meet since last July. My horror of coping with a toddler in the steep cement balconies plus the opportunity for a break after a week of homeschool and a chance to get something done in the house has kept me at home. He was actually very easy to deal with, for which I am thankful.

I went today because they have been doing so well that I had to be there to see them shine. I like to think that Sukey was so excited to have Momma there that she went to town just for me. Whatever the reason, she had 2 of the most perfect starts she has ever had off the blocks, both for fly. Her first, (which I missed because I was yakking...red faced with shame I admit this), caused all the coaches to simultaneously turn and grin at Eric at the scoring table! I saw the second. It was indeed flawless.

This is Sukey's up year and what a season she is having!

She won all 5 events that she swam in today--3 individual and 2 relays! She swam a personal best in 25 fly, which has probably cinched her spot at A Champs. She already qualifies in the 100 IM--ranked in 14th place in the league. It was a fantastic meet for her! Watching her swim fly is beautiful.

In my mind I remember hearing over 100 parents chanting "Sukey! Sukey! Sukey!" the September when she was 4 almost 5, trying out for pre team, and was struggling to make a lap of butterfly. She barely finished that lap. When she finished I was in tears. She has always been the gritted teeth, "I can do it girl!" (She didn't make pre team that year.) Ten months later at 5 almost 6, I see her on the summer team leisurely swimming a 96 second fly where she swam down to the bottom of the pool and back up again over and over for 25 yards her pink swim cap shining and her chubby cheeks beaming. These images set next to today's powerful shoulders, muscular legs, and strong arms that cut through the water are light years from each other. (Though her pink "swim princess" cap still shone!)

Gwen got a personal best in 50 free. She has been hovering at the same times for months now so this was a real break through for her. She is developing into a graceful beautiful swimmer. This is her down year, yet she continues to prove what an athlete she really is. This down year is proving to be a little hard for her. She won't make A Champs this year and she is struggling with sharing the limelight with little sis. Last year, because our team moved to a new pool and reformed under a new name, they scratched all the of team records. So Gwen, who was in her up year as an 8 and under, set 4 team records. She was a star on the 8 and unders last year. So while she is is tall and lean and swift, a joy to watch in the water , she is spending this year building endurance and preparing for her up year next year. She is still the fastest 10 and under in several events on her team but she has stiff competition in the league from girls a year older than her. She is training hard right now for 2 USA meets in February. They are her last opportunity to get Junior Olympic qualifying times. She is close in several strokes to JO times.

We continue to be thankful for swimming. It is a fantastic sport, with great kids, devoted families, and a spirit of sportsmanship and camaraderie that is exceptional. It is a beautiful blend of team spirit and single minded pursuit of personal achievement. You can watch a child lose a race, then still beam with pride as they hear their time from a timer and race to share their personal best with a coach or parent. Sure the kids want their team to win and they have great team spirit, but they also have a focus on individual self improvement that keeps the kids striving constantly to better themselves.

It takes a tremendous commitment to be a swimmer and a swim family. The practices are long and demanding and the meets are never less than 3 hours. For families the constant shuttling to practices, careful food preparation for young athletes, and attention to sleep, school, etc etc can be taxing. Gwen practices 4 times a week for 2 hour stretches. She requires huge amounts of pasta, rice, chicken, peanut butter and apples. We pay careful attention to what time she eats to prevent cramping and how much she eats to keep her fueled well. Sukey swims twice a week for an hour. We expect that next year she will ramp up and then we will have to monitor her even more carefully.

I have a constant rotation of damp towels drying on chairs, wet ones in the wash, bathing suits needing cold water rinses, hair needing swimmer's shampoo, goggle malfunctions, food preparation, and bag unpacking and packing. Dad does pep talks and goal meticulously. He scores and runs the timing machine at meets and picks up from practice. He drives to meets and provides a constant diet of encouragement. We are a swim family. It defines our weeks and how we plan our weekends and even vacations.

It is all worth it in the end though to watch Gwen and Sukey at a meet with their team mates writing "Eat My Bubbles" on each others backs or "Oxygen is Overrated." To see them wait an their lane at the end of a grueling race and shake hands with the kids on on either side. To see the smiles and cheers when the relays start. The excited bouncing when a friends does well. The nervous little girl arm twisting while waiting in the ready line. The beaming smile when a coach compliments them. The excited glee when they realize that they just got a personal best,

Swimming has has helped the girls develop discipline, a work ethic, focus, team spirit, and drive to excel. It is building strong muscles and bones, a love of exercise, and setting the stage for a healthy lifestyle. We are blessed that we can have the girls on such a great team with such great coaches. We wouldn't have it any other way.

The Mouse Battle Continues

2011-01-15T15:33:00.004-05:00

In the continuing battle against the rodent population, score three more for Eric the Exterminator.

Total: Seven furry pests gone to meet their maker. I should feel bad but I don't. What I do feel is relieved and slightly squicked that we had 7 mice running through the house. I really hope that he has gotten them all.

Christmas in Pictures 2010

2011-01-13T17:10:00.017-05:00

Our Annual Christmas Card

Gwendolyn, Gregory, Susanna 2010

Daddy and Gregory

Gregory is....

Babylicious!

Putting the Magi into the manger

Where do I put this?

Santa brought me a baby!

A bell from Santa's sleigh!

Watching the Muppet show with Daddy on Christmas Day.

A camera!

Friends forever...

Our Advent and Christmas Traditions: The Christmas Card

2011-01-12T23:33:00.006-05:00

Our Annual Christmas Card

Susanna, Gregory, and Gwendolyn 2009

Yes you read it correctly it says 2009. Usually we send out a photo Christmas card. This year we skipped cards. Not on purpose. It just sort of happened. Not with any intent. They just slipped away in the swirl of busyness. We noticed that we got very few this year. Perhaps they are slipping away for a lot of people....

We still took our annual photo. Maybe I will get around to sending them to people. We usually send out Christmas cards between Christmas and New Years. People can count on us to do this. Except for when the can't; like the year we sent them in June. Or the year we sent them in March. Or the year we didn't send them but had them printed. (I was pregnant with Gregory that year. I just threw them away this December.. Should I really be admitting this!) Last year we sent out birth announcements with the Christmas cards.

I think I may take this years picture and just email it everyone. I have to be honest I had other priorities. I enjoyed receiving the ones that came our way. So the verdict is still out on whether we will pick up again next year with the annual Christmas card. Since I never managed to write anything at all about last year or post pictures here are some of my favorites.

This is the 2009 annual picture in front of the tree. We skipped this pose this year. I really wish we hadn't.

This is Greg's first annual pose in front of the tree.
But rats~it is his only annual pose because
I dropped the ball on this one and didn't pose them for this one in 2010.
Now I do regret that!

Daddy and Gregory 2009
We did a similar pose this year. I am glad I managed it.
This is a tradition we will keep up.

My poppets with Santa.

Gwenny, Sukey, Greg, and Santa 2009

I am going to put 2010 Christmas photos in a separate post. This is me still trying to catch up from the long hiatus when I stopped posting for year!

Our Advent and Christmas Traditions: A Christmas Ornament

2011-01-12T21:23:00.009-05:00

Every year the children receive an ornament for Christmas. When the children grow up and move out we will have an empty tree! Their box of decorations is getting big. We decorate the tree the weekend before Christmas and often dress up in festive clothes. We always take a lot of sweet pictures. The kids receive their ornaments and then we decorate the tree. The first three pictures are from last year. This is the one tradition I let go of this year that I wished I hadn't. We have years of pictures of this event and I love looking at them. I wish that we had gone to the effort this year. I think we were just too tired. We celebrated Gwen's birthday with two close friends the evening before with cake and ice cream, dinner, a trip to a big light show, a party, and a sleep over. We were just so exhausted from that and by the next night--Sunday evening when it was time to decorate the tree--we were just too pooped to pop! So the festive dressed up evening with lots of pictures was a quiet affair.

Gwenny and Momma.
Simply scrumptious.
2009

Susanna and Momma.
What a sweetie.
2009

Here he is in his first Christmas appearance! Babylicious.
Mmmmmmm. Mmmmmmmm
2009

We did get a cute picture of Gregory putting an ornament onto the tree this year.

Our Advent and Christmas Traditions: In My Kitchen

2011-01-12T21:21:00.009-05:00

We have a special meal on Christmas Eve. I have a recipe that a friend's mother gave me 4 years ago and we have had it on Christmas Eve every year since then. It is called Christmas Eve Seafood. It is delightful blend of 1 pound each of crab, lobster, scallops, and shrimp, blended with cream, a pinch of cayenne for delicious warmth, butter, and pasta. It is quick and easy but expensive. I have opted for just scallops and shrimp to save on the expense. Maybe next year I will do the full mix. I can assure you that it is tasty and rich and very easy to make. I serve it with different sides each year. Steamed vegetables in a butter, lemon, and dill sauce, or a side salad are easy. Sometimes we add homemade bread or rolls. This is one meal that I look forward to every year. I only make it once.

This year I was so lazy and relaxed (and tired) on Christmas day that we all ate leftovers and I made our big Christmas Day meal on the 26th. We had a crown roast and it was scrumptious! Taking Christmas Day off from cooking felt decadent but since we had such a nice meal the evening before I was glad I decided to do it. Just one small way that I gave myself a break from tradition. No one seemed to mind. We had plenty of yummy French Canadian meat pie left over so the pickings were good.

In past years I have always made a dessert for Christmas Eve. They have varied. The last two years I made a Buche de Noel in honor of my French heritage. This recipe is easy enough for me and very forgiving with all the frosting to cover the mistakes! The next time I make it I am going to try making meringue mushrooms to decorate it along with the sugared cranberries that I used for holly berries. (A little girl in my Girl Scout troop gave me sugared cranberries 3 years ago. they are must have at the holidays.) This cake is particularly nice since it is gluten free and a close friend who has celliac can have it. The last 2 years I made it and gave her half. This year I gave myself a break from the work, (and her--she told me that it was so decadent she ate almost all of it in one sitting last year!) and we used the lovely petite fours and chocolates from Swiss Colony that Eric's brother and sister-in-law sent for Christmas as our dessert instead. They were delightful and it cut down on the sweets. Though the girls did miss their log cake. So maybe I'll do it next year. This was another "Give myself a break for this year" part of our Christmas.

Two years ago my mother taught me and the girls how to make Christmas Balls. These yummy peanut butter balls with coconut, peanut butter, and pecans dipped in chocolate are scrumptious. They are my fondest Christmas sweet memory from childhood except for ribbon candy. (I looked for ribbon candy this year but waited until too late. Next year I will make a point of looking in early December. My mother made them every year. I did not make them this year. But they were sorely missed. So I think I may have to make some for Valentines Day!

Every year I buy Christmas Nougats from Brachs and soft peppermints. These are must haves on the buffet.

Another sweet favorite is Mimi's cheese cake. This recipe was given to my mom by a Jewish neighbor from New York 37 years ago. She claimed what made it special was the sour cream topping. We have been loving at the holidays for 4 decades now. I make it for New Years Day every year. The first year that Eric and i were dating we went to Thanksgiving at my Aunt Lolo's home in St Johnsbury Vermont. Eric ate close to half the cheesecake that my mother made. It was an impressive display of eating. I have never been disappointed in 14 years in his desire for vast quantities of this cheese cake. It is a great cake. I have not got one picture of it. Maybe next year!

Every year on New Years Day we give a Holiday Greeting and sweet treat to our neighbors. We have done different things, white chocolate bark, sugared cranberries, cookies, faux toffee, Christmas Balls. For the last several years I have made Fool's Toffee. (That's what Eric calls it~~we both agree it is candy crack. I make it and give it away--right away. Or we will all snarf it like addicts who can't get it fast enough. At Thanksgiving I send him in to work with a bag of treats. The Fools Toffee is a huge hit and the kids literally beg for pieces before it goes out the door. Eric's coworkers rave about it. This is hugely amusing to me because all it is made of is saltine crackers, semi sweet chocolate morsels, butter, brown sugar and with chopped nuts.

New Years Day 2009

We picked up cute Christmas take out themed containers and put the sweets into those. This year I sprinkled sugared cranberries and hard Christmas candy mix in with the toffee. Next year I am aiming to try homemade biscotti or chocolate covered pretzels. I am told that they are much easier to make than my fear of them makes them seem to me.

We have done this for our neighbors every year for the last 10 years. Always on New Years Day. This year we did it the day after New Years. I really was tired this year! Or maybe I just felt that I didn't have to be tied deadlines. In any case, the girls run to our immediate neighbors. There are 8 that we do this with. They offer a card and the treats. It is a fun way to round out the holiday season. I have added a page with Christmas recipes. Enjoy!

Our Advent and Christmas Traditions: Luminaries

2011-01-12T20:58:00.007-05:00

This year I added luminaries to our Christmas traditions. Joan Marie Arbogast says that we show our desire to welcome the Holy Infant into our homes when we light them. I have always admired them. One year we drove through a local neighborhood where several entire streets were lined. It was beautiful. So, since I had candles I could use, and I happened upon bags to use when I was shopping for the Christ Candle wax and wick, this was easy to add. I am not a big fan of shopping so this truly was a quick add on as I literally stumbled upon them. Otherwise, wouldn't have managed it. I avoid stores like the plague from Thanksgiving Day forward. Eric does almost all venturing out to stores from then on except grocery shopping. I don't manage the crowds well. I do almost 100 percent of our Christmas shopping online except for candy and small odds and ends. The internet is the best technological advance ever for me in terms of comfort and ease. We will definitely do this again.

Our Advent and Christmas Traditions: Reindeer Oats

2011-01-12T20:39:00.005-05:00

Reindeer Oats

One tradition that we learned from Aunt Moe, my sister-in-law in Florida, is putting out oats and crystal sugar sprinkles for Santa's reindeer on Christmas Eve. Of course we also put out a little treat for Santa and the reindeer on our mantle. This is keeper.

Sukey sprinkling with style!

If I forget Gwen remembers. This is so much fun and oh so silly. Some years we have gone up and down the block sprinkling the neighbors lawns in addition to our own. The night is always cold and crispy with twinkling lights everywhere. It builds a delightful anticipation for the joys of Santa's visit.

Gwen is a pro at this. We have done this every year since she was three!

This year Gregory had his full initiation into the practice and did some serious sprinkling.

We follow up with watching the classic "Little Drummer Boy." This year we also watched "The Snowman" by Raymond Briggs. If you haven't seen this animated short you must do so. It is beautiful and soothing. In the winter we often watch it before bed around the holidays. This song "Walking in the Air" is gorgeous. It really helps wind the kids down before bed. Reindeer Oats are a Christmas Eve must for our family.

Our Advent and Christmas Traditions: The Creche

2011-01-12T18:28:00.012-05:00

Each year the girls take turns putting the Baby Jesus into the crib on the mantle. They switch by odd and even years. (This will become more complicated with the addition of Gregory who may well want to do this next year when he is 2 and 1/2!) Luckily we have another full manger scene in the dining room so there is another opportunity to place the Christ Child there.

This is Gwen at 7 years old putting Baby Jesus up on the mantle. I love how joyous she is.

This is Sukey at 5 years old placing the Baby Jesus in the dining room crib.

We start out the fireplace mantle with Mary and Joseph. Jesus is usually added on Christmas morning. Though we have put him in a few times on Christmas Eve. Since we went to mass on Christmas Eve this year we put him up in the evening.

The creche in the dining room is assembled slowly through the Advent season. We start with an empty stable, add straw (if I have it), then slowly add the animals. On a good year when I am keeping up Mary and Joseph travel to the manger across the buffet with the Magi behind them. It is a nice practice. When we eat supper in the evening if it is time to move the figures we do it then. This physical pilgrimage keeps us moving through the season with a focus on the Holy Family uppermost in our minds. I will confess that this year I didn't manage to get the creche up until a week before Christmas. This year the Magi were the only ones being moved along. This is a nice tradition and we will keep doing it. It will be sad when there are no more children eager to lift Jesus into his crib or move the Magi along.

Our Advent and Christmas Traditions: The Birthday Cake for the Baby Jesus

2011-01-12T17:27:00.005-05:00

Birthday Cake for the Baby Jesus

I can't remember where I got this idea. It may have been from a neighbor. In any case we have done this for years now. The recipe is from an old community recipe book of my mothers from the 70's. It is carrot cake with cream cheese icing. It is absolutely delicious! In fact it is the same recipe I used for Gwen's first birthday cake. We put our Baby Jesus from the mantle on top of the cake, light one candle and sing happy birthday. The girls love doing this. It makes a delightful dessert for Christmas day and roots us again in Christ. This tradition is one we will keep.

Christmas Day 2009

Our Advent and Christmas Traditions: The Wreath

2011-01-12T17:22:00.008-05:00

We have quite a few Christmas traditions in our family. In my quest to create strong family bonds and cherished memories for the children I have instituted quite a few. The wonder of these traditions is how meaningful they have become, but every light casts a shadow so the burden is that these traditions make a lot of work that I struggle to keep up with . This year while I added two new ones I culled a few back and gave myself a break on others. I have been struggling with my expansive nature since Gregory was born. Trying to identify what is essential, what would be nice, and what I can live without. It is a process. when I decided that I wanted to write about Christmas and Advent at our house I realized just how much I had cut back. Some I am grateful for relinquishing this year and others I regret.

This is our Advent wreath transformed into the The Christmastide wreath on Christmas Eve. Of course during Advent the wreath is simple with greens and few red berries and the purple and pink candles. On the feast of St. Nicholas I put a statue of St Nicholas in the center of the wreath. He stays there for week. On the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe I put her statue in the center and then she stays for a week.

I got the idea to add bows to the candles from the advent wreath that the Immaculate Heart of Mary sisters made at our parish. A simple touch but very pretty. This year we made our own Christ Candle. I was very intimidated by this because I lack the crafty gene, but with Eric's help and instructions from "The Advent-Christmas Book" from Paulist Press by Joan Marie Arbogast we made a beautiful scented candle. I added patchouli because it is one of my favorite fragrances.The girls loved this so much that we will explore candle making more fully later this year. It was a simple pleasure.

If I could only keep one of all the Christmas traditions that we have, this would be the one. This lighted wreath anchors us firmly through the whole Advent season and through Christmastide in the central truth of the season: that we must prepare ourselves for and then immerse ourselves in the joy and gift of Christ entering into our hearts. It is the central element in the season. I could forgo a tree, but never the wreath. It links us as a family in a circle of love, generating conversation and serious reflection while casting a candlelit beauty over our evening meals that I cherish.

Even now in ordinary time we still have the simple white Christ Candle in the center of our table to remind us of his presence.

The War Against Chaos and the Forces of Darkness: The Mouse Battle and The Floor Skirmish

2011-01-10T16:35:00.009-05:00

The Mouse Battle

In the ongoing war against the forces of chaos and darkness which threaten my sanity at every turn, the most recent vermin problem in our home has been mice. We have been in pitched battle with them for 11 years. We have rescued nursing mothers and their pinkies and put them outside and we have humanely trapped and released adults and adolescents. We have accidentally killed a few, but never have we set out to deliberately annihilate them. This winter they have resisted all efforts at humane capture by ignoring our bait and pooping all over my kitchen. Folks, when the furry little mammals ignore your humanely baited traps, and then poop on your stove top and in your oven they have to go by any means necessary. Last week Eric waged genocide against them and killed 4. Score one for the humans. Mouse poop be gone! Long Live Eric the Exterminator.

The Floor Skirmish

I am by no means a domestic goddess. In fact, while I desire organization and cleanliness with a fierceness only matched by an angry bear sow separated from her cubs, I stink at it. My kitchen floor has been a constant source of frustration for years. No mud room + small children + white floor = filth. Constantly. At one point I had the floor under control when I was using floor products from Sears made for no wax floors. They discontinued the product and I embarked on years of orange cleaner sprayed on and mopped. Quick, cheap and efficient. Not shiny. I dabbled in pine cleaners. I flirted with ammonia. Then I entered the Mop n' Glo era. This has resulted in a floor that is mottled brownish yellowish ick.

In desperation the other day I googled "cleaning no wax floors" and learned that simply cleaning my floors with vinegar and hot water would have sufficed all these years. Live and learn. So now, I am stripping my floors with one cup dishwasher powder, 2 cups of ammonia, and 2 gallons blisteringly hot water, one painful elbow numbing square foot at a time. Underneath the layers of Mop n' Glo (never again!) is a white floor. The floor that I thought was ruined is just buried in layers of wax.

How can I be middle aged and be so gloriously inept at keeping a floor clean and looking good?

Did I say I have a degree in Women's Studies? I used to laugh condescendingly at people like me. Now I would just be grateful if my darn floor looked good.

Humph...

....*small smile*

My Brag Book

2011-01-09T22:08:00.003-05:00

Today Sukey swam in her first USA swim meet. She was in a mini meet for 8 and unders. She was an on deck entry which means that she and her Dad got up at 6am to go to a meet that they had no guarantees of getting her in to.

She got into the meet and swam in 4 events: 50 free, 50 fly, 100 IM, and 25 breast. She got a personal best in 50 free as well as a heat winner ribbon. She won a heat winner ribbon in her breast, and then a pink swim princess swim cap for winning her heat in the 100IM. She was on track to win her heat in fly but took on water and gagged causing her to slow down. Tough luck.

Daddy reports that she was clingy and shy. The most nervous and scared that he has seen her in years.

She left the meet standing tall and completely "stacked" (stoked--*laugh*) that she had swum so well.

She can't wait to swim in her next USA meet.

Family Circus: The Surreal Life

2011-01-09T21:24:00.005-05:00

The other day Eric and Sukey had early doctors appointments. They had been schlepping around half of Southeastern PA since 7:30am. It was now 9:30 they were home and Eric was racing around trying to get out the door to catch his train.

I was standing in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher. Sukey walked into the kitchen and said, "Momma, I feel sick to my stomach." I glanced at her and said, "Well I guess you shouldn't have that sweet stick you just asked me for."

She looked at me and just stood there. In my morning fog--coffeeless--I thought she was getting ready to whine about the candy. I started to turn away and then she lunged trying to make it to the sink. A fountain of liquid spewed out of her mouth directly into the utensil drawer, down the front of the cabinets, and finally into the sink as she made it the counter's edge. I stood there dumbfounded. Then mothering kicked in; I rubbed her head, wiped her face, and then sent her straight upstairs to take shower. The first arm in my arsenal to healing. Followed by quick orders to Gwen to run to WaWa for ginger ale.

I commenced to emptying the drawer for hosing out. Moments later Eric came jogging down the stairs. I said, "Sukey puked in the silver ware drawer." He replied, "I know--poor kid. I wonder what she's caught. I have to catch my train."

The baby began stumping back and forth carrying on getting underfoot like a puppy trying to trip us.

Eric began rummaging in his tray while scanning his morning checklist. I tossed his lunch onto the dining room table.

Down the stairs came Sukey's plaintive cry of, "Momma."

We looked at each other. He turned and zipped up the stairs to see if she was throwing again.

I turned back to the sour silver ware waiting to hear what would be required next.

He came running back down, "Quick I need scissors her scrunchy is knotted into her hair." I grabbed the scissors from the buffet and thrust them at Gwen, "Here let Gwen do it." He paused clearly torn between his need to get out the door and his fear that Gwen would hack Sukey's hair off.

I started back to the kitchen and then turned back, "What's wrong?" Then the jumping and gesticulating began. "I'm late for the train, Sukey has puked into the silver ware drawer, she feels crummy, her hair is in knots, she's in the shower waiting, and I need the scissors now." My husband had become the magician from Frosty the Snowman.

I slunk into the kitchen because hysterical laughter in the heat of the moment that morning would have been bad form.

I drove him to the train station where we laughed together.

In Gratitude

2011-01-05T11:59:00.003-05:00

.....for Gwen's growing maturity and commitment to her sport. She made swimmer of the week the third week in December. All three of her coaches complimented her last night after practice that it was her best practice ever. She continues to become formed in discipline and character through laps....

....for Gwen's growth in empathy and caring. Daddy had a root canal yesterday and she tenderly made plans for his bed rest if he required it. We have waited years for her to begin to grow in care for others....

....for the scent of pine every time I walk past the Christmas tree...

....for the lights in the darkness twinkling in my home.....the lights I can see and the light of Christ burning in our hearts....

...for Gregory's growth in words. He can say "nu" for nurse now and he can form a "p" sound in the beginnings of an attempt to say please instead of sign it. He saw a pick up truck yesterday and shouted "tu" over and over gain with a huge baby smile and excitedly waving arms....

...for the sacrament of penance~~though praying for everyone I am angry with is taking up a lot of time....

....for a joyous Christmas season....

...for the most financial security in 8 years....

...for glimmers of patience and more ability to handle the chaos....

...for more insight ability to see myself more clearly....*ouch*

....more flexibility....

....for a gorgeous snowstorm the day after Christmas...

...pungent coffee and warm fires....

....Sukey's desire to work through her anger and attempts to master her big emotions and be her best self....

....Sukey's attempts to be a big girl when she desires most the cuteness, safety, and irresponsibility of little girlishness....

...for Eric's continued constancy, dedication, and devotion....

....for our little home....

Family Circus: The Surreal Life

2010-12-16T13:21:00.004-05:00

Why is there a bandaid on the box of Annie's Bunny Pasta With Yummy Cheese that I just pulled out of the pantry?

And Why does it have a spot of blood on it?

Dumpster Diving for Flowers

2010-12-15T18:22:00.011-05:00

The girls started an art class recently with a delightful teacher at a recently closed parochial school in our area. We drop off at the back of the building near a door in the basement. This is very convenient though if feels a bit illicit as we hurry down the steep concrete stairs with their rusted broken railing behind the forest green industrial dumpster.

This morning the dumpster was overstuffed and open about 2 feet. Peering out of its garbagey depths, was a gorgeous array of fresh flowers: blue, lavender, and white delphinium, raspberry gerber daisies, pink star gazer lilies, variegated rust and burgundy carnations.,and maroon striped alstroemeria. Drawn by their beauty, I stepped closer to take look at this feast of freshness. I peered closer, and a little deeper in was a large long stemmed yellow rose. It was fully open, velvety, and simply exquisite.

My mind flickered to thoughts of Mass flowers discarded after the weekend. I paused, thought about the waste of fresh flowers dumped unceremoniously into the trash, and then left to go home and work on math with Gwen. Sukey was safely in the building, it was cold, very windy, I wanted to be in my snugly warm home.

I came back 2 hours later and there they were, vibrant and fresh just glowing in the midst of trash with snow flurries swirling around their faces. I walked up to the dumpster and stared at the rose. I reached in hesitantly and pulled on it. It was long stemmed and gorgeous. I pulled on it to loosen it a bit from the arrangement; it was cold, flexibly frozen, but glowing in the light, perfectly shaped. I looked at it wistfully and then stepped away to swap out girls for the next class.

Inside I commented to the art teacher about the gorgeous flowers just thrown away and she said that they were from a funeral that morning. We were joking about dumpster diving when Gwen, who had gone out to the car, came bursting back in with the long stemmed rose. It had been caught by a wind gust and blown out of the dumpster. She was ecstatic, absolutely thrilled with this frozen rose. We gathered around to lightly touch its flexible icy petals. It lacked the fluttery velvety softness of summer bloom; instead it was slightly crunchy infused with a carved luminous quality, a frozen rose that glowed with light from within. It was rose but not rose.

Then rose scent released by warming air wafted up delicately. We all laughed in delight.

I declared my resolve to pluck more flowers from the dumpster. Gwen flew out the door and danced in anticipation in front of the dumpster.

We were dumpster diving for funeral flowers in the blowing snow and it was wonderful.

We drove home intoxicated with our find in a car filled with the scent of stargazer lilies. Gwen was transported.

We pulled into our driveway and eagerly went to retrieve our luscious find. We pulled the flowers out of the car and were stunned at their transformation. Family at the death bed. In ten minutes they had gone from iced glowing perfection to limp rags. The warmth of the car had jerked them from frozen splendor to their cut flower decay.

We put them in water and hoped.

A few responded and for several days we had a few hardy vibrant cut flowers gracing the counter top. The stargazer lilies perfumed the kitchen; a heady tonic for Gwen a funeral home drain for me. Our dumpster flowers had revived briefly, dying loved ones rallying for us in a splendid moment of lucidity appearing to be one with us again their cheeks flushed with pink before their inevitable death, but their freshness was transitory a mere moment in time a hook for hope an arrow to glory.

What else could we do but write a haiku?

"Peering from dumpster,
fragile frozen yellow rose
funeral beauty."

Gwen is still talking about haikus.

Signing for God

2010-12-15T15:48:00.007-05:00

Gregory, at 19 months, only has two words--Momma and Daddy. Though he recently added uh-oh. We have been teaching him American Sign Language with great success. It is very sweet to watch him--especially when he fiddles with his fingers and tries to make signs up for things he doesn't know the sign for. Today he signed for God.

We say grace before meals. The classic: "Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen." Though we say, "share" instead of receive. My sister's family made that change and we adopted it. We all hold hands while we say the blessing. If someone in the family is missing, we leave the circle broken as if that person were there. The girls started that practice on a night when Daddy had to work late.

Gregory at 19 months has been participating in grace since he first got a high chair last December at 7 months. We have had many nights where he was given his food first to soothe cranky crying and baby impatience. As he got older we held his flailing fists while he shrieked in frustration at our attempts to include him in grace before food was placed on his tray. As time went on he progressed to silently watching us say grace while we all beamed at each other.

About 2 weeks ago he entered a new phase ; as soon as we begin the sign of the cross he raises his hands and tries grasp the hand of whomever is sitting next to him. It is sweet and both Eric and I have remarked on it. When we finish, I trace the sign of the cross on his forehead since he can't cross himself yet.

Today, at lunch, we gathered round to say grace with Gregory in his high chair ,while the girls and I stood near him. When we finished the sign of the cross as I leaned over to trace his forehead he shook his hand in front of his chest in an attempt to make the sign. It was just delightful and felt so holy.

He is so intense in his desire to be included in every thing we do. Why last night he helped set the table the dinner! If you could have seen his determined toddler self stumping back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room. it was a feast for the eyes even in my hurry to get things finished up for the meal. This desire for inclusion in every moment of our lives translates into little nap time or napping on my body and needing to be with one of us every second. It is draining but oh so sweet.

He is so clearly developing in so many ways. He has added signs for both sisters names, the sign for fire, and making the sign of the cross in just the last 2 weeks.

We continue to be blessed by him....

In Gratitude

2010-12-15T08:20:00.004-05:00

Today I am grateful for...

....the light dusting of snow making the world feel clean....Pennsylvania can be beautiful even in the city suburbs....

....my husband's devotion to his family....no nights out with guys or long hours watching football....just intense loving focus on raising our children, being a great husband, and hard work repairing, fixing, and maintaining our home....

....the fruits of our commitment to being a swim family....Gwen's 100 yard backstroke at the Tyr Cup this weekend was brilliant....Sukey swimming for her team Saturday with a chest cold and still swimming a personal best in 25 free...

....Gregory's sweet kisses....

....warm fires....

....a frozen yellow rose....

Advent So Far

2010-12-13T07:22:00.012-05:00

Advent continues to slip away. I usually have my entire home decorated and ready for Christmas by the end of the first week in December. This year I have not been able to manage that. What I have managed is to keep the focus on faith in the middle of trying to prepare home and hearth. I am backing away from perfection and trying to just be good enough. In past years the advent wreath and candles would only come out when I had the dining room decorating completed. That meant that I killed myself getting the decorating done so that my perfect vision of the festive room with the dressed table would be completed. My boss--Gregory--keeps me on a demanding schedule so I have had to let go of my desires.

This year in the middle of the boxes and and chronic mess I plucked the wreath from its home in the attic and set it up with extra candles bought last year! (The wreath was packed in the top of a box for easy access!) For almost 2 weeks it was the only sign of the season in our home. However, it served its purpose beautifully and served to focus our family on the task at hand--preparing for the Incarnation. Even with our busy swim schedule practice, we have managed to light it most nights.

We celebrated the Feast of St Nicholas without a big breakfast or special evening meal. I couldn't pull it off and instead of regretting it, I was grateful that we could still honor the Saint and prepare for his gifts. I couldn't find his statue, which was buried deep in an attic box, to put in the center of our Advent wreath. I didn't manage to put that near the top! I couldn't get my chronically messy bedroom hallway clean for my fantasy either, so, the shoes went out on the carpet that needed vacuuming, in the hallway stacked with boxes, with the pile of dirty laundry in the corner. Yet against all odds, St Nicolas still came into our hearts with treats and a message about keeping Christ central to the season. He still came....

I have always told my children that Santa comes twice--once on his feast day and once on Christmas. On his feast day in the role of bishop he is reminding us through the gift of chocolate coins that Jesus loved the poor and that we have to be generous and think of others who need our help. I have also told them that his first visit is to help us keep our focus on the true meaning of our Advent preparations--that we prepare for the birth of Christ not a jolly red suited man with gifts. I found a book this year that comes really close to what I have been trying to say for years to my girls.

St Nicholas left this book called "A Special Place for Santa." It pulls Jesus squarely into the center of the Christmas frame. Santa becomes just like us-- a lover of the infant kneeling in awe in front of God in the arms of his mother. He laments the loss of the focus on Christ and wrestles with his role in distracting us from the core of Christmas. In the end through a conversation with God he realizes his role in spreading love in people's hearts. He kneels before his savior and the babe smiles at him. My kids read that Santa humbly loves Jesus just as we do, and that he eagerly awaits the Christ child's birth with the same joy that we do. Presents are given to children especially in honor of the the baby's birthday but more importantly Jesus awaits the list from Santa of the kind and loving things we have done for each other over the year. My girls have read this book numerous times in the last week. St Nicholas left each one chocolate coins, a guardian angel lapel pin, and a prayer card with a picture of the kneeling Santa with Isaiah 9:15 written on the back.

The feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe was yesterday. For this feast day I managed to find her statue and get it into the center of our Advent wreath and I even managed to have the house decorated and prepared for Christmas--finally! I wanted to make Arroz con Pollo with salsa verde. Oh my is this good! We have had it for special occasions a few times and it is wonderful. But it takes a fair amount of time and work. I also had ambitions to make these quesadillas which look yummy and I really want to try them. This was my fantasy Our Lady of Guadalupe meal.

But in keeping with my fight against the demon of perfectionism and my goal to be good enough our meal was simple....

Instead we had soft and hard shell tacos and Spanish rice. I felt a little bad that I hadn't channeled my inner Marth Stewart and then when my kids yelled with joy, "We're having tacos!" I knew I had done the right thing for my own sanity and for what they would eat happily. What mattered was that we read the book by Tomie Paola " The Lady of Guadalupe," went to mass, and ate a festive meal as a family.

We continue to talk about what we are thankful for each evening, try to practice patience--wow is that hard-- and speak lovingly to each other.

Advent~Preparing Heart, Home, Body, and Soul

2010-12-08T11:50:00.004-05:00

Advent~preparing for the light of Christ to break into world with the lusty cry of newborn baby.

During advent we are doing 3 things as a family: Finding one thing to be grateful for every day. Nurturing patience. Trying to speak to each other other lovingly.

Sounds simple. This is very hard to do.

Today~

I am grateful for~

...my son who is 19 months old today. He is precious, demanding, infuriating, and delightful....

.....my Gwen whose waters run deep and who shines with her joy for life....

...my Sukey whose wit and heart flash like fire....

....my husband's constancy and love....

...the new baby gates that arrived in the mail....

...art class....

...wood...

....groceries...new shoes for my kids....a warm house...

......roses in my kitchen....

...the ability these last few days to live in the chaos with some serenity instead of resentment and frustration...

I have so much more to say but I'll end with this: I read an article in the Reader's Digest about a man who wrote one thank you letter a day every day for a year. Many days he wrote more than one. Recently, I read a quote--maybe it was even in that article--the jist of which was ~you have to appreciate what you have now before you can move on to something else you desire.

I have spent years passionately desiring to move back to New Hampshire. We came very close this fall to realizing that dream. It didn't work out. All of my sadness, resentment, and disappointment has been bubbling up the last few weeks over this loss.

I cannot waste another breathe wishing for that dream while I waste the today I have on what I wish would be.

My personal Advent preparation, is to honor my sadness but resolve to love where I live, to become part of my community--not someone biding her time until something better comes along--to see the beauty and goodness in the community in which I live, to honor the people here with respect and love and to reenter into life here fully.

The days are fleeting and the calendar is fluttering past. In this time of winter bleakness our roots heal. Here are my wishes for a winter of healing in preparation for birth in all its guises.

The Planters of Plimoth Plantation

2010-11-27T00:19:00.048-05:00

The girls and I have spent about 2 weeks working on all things Thanksgiving. We dove in head first and have had loads of fun. As so many of our school projects have become, this was a complete tangent born of a post by a mom pointing to a link at Scholastic's website about resources for Thanksgiving, in a homeschool Yahoo group. Did you get that? (What would I do without Yahoo Groups?)

In fact, the whole Science at Sea field trip came from a post in a Yahoo Group I saw one day that sent me off on a total tangent of web surfing at the Wetlands Institute, followed by a phone call to them inquiring about education programs ,and then posts to Yahoo Groups to gauge interest in a field trip. Before I knew it we had 105 people raring to go on a 2 hour car ride to Cape May for a 3 hour boat trip! Who'd a thunk it?! That's what being easily diverted like Hammy the Squirrel will get you! Our Thanksgiving study has followed a similar vein though we haven't coaxed 105 people out on a field trip---yet. The girls ARE itching to go to Plimoth Plantation. I smell a trip there next fall.

But I digress. This particular tangent all started with this link to Scholastic's web site: The First Thanksgiving. I surfed around in there for awhile and got so excited about the site that I started planning a unit study on the holiday. Everything grew from there. First, I ordered this book from Draw Your World: Native Americans, North America, The Pilgrims. Next, I ordered this lapbook: Thanksgiving from A Journey Through Learning. To keep us going for a day or two while I sorted out what I wanted to do and waited for things to arrive, the girls did a series of Thanksgiving themed worksheets from Enchanted Learning. Then we printed out these doll outlines and clothing of Pilgrims and Native People and clothing from Making Friends.com. The girls started working on the Making Friends dolls. I cut out clothes and dolls while they colored and glued clothes on. We started simple and as things often do when I have my finger in the pie, we got more elaborate. We finished up the 2 weeks with a full blown narrated play using 35 props that were all drawn by the three of us and then cut out and colored and mounted on craft sticks. In the 2 week process we read some lovely picture books, watched a Plimoth Plantation webcast, saw slide shows, about PP, read extensively online about life for Wampanoags and Pilgrims in 17th century New England, and put together our play. We will begin our lapbook Monday. Which I am hoping will go quickly. Well I can hope!

One very interesting thing we did was to watch the Plimoth Plantation Virtual Field Trip webcast on the Scholastic web site. (The First Thanksgiving link above will bring you to everything I am referring too in this section. ) The girls were very interested--Gwen more than Sukey--but Sukey managed to hang in there for the whole 30 minutes. Then, we went through the 84 slide virtual tour of Plimoth Plantation which both girls really enjoyed. Sukey read quite a few captions and that helped to keep her interest high in the slides. She actually did better with that than the webcast. Together, we followed the links about Daily Life, The Mayflower, and The First Thanksgiving, read the information and watched the mini slide shows. I read though the teacher's resource section and a few of the interviews with historical interpreters from Plimoth Plantation which I then shared tidbits of with the girls. Hopefully this site will remain up. Gwen could have read all of the interviews but we simply ran out of time. There is such a wealth of material on the site. Next year we will probably pick a few them and go more in depth. This year we were trying to get the whole sequence of events and the broad outline of the story. We've always just read picture books and done crafts. I tried to flesh out our study this year.

From the Scholastic site, we wended our way over to the Plimoth Plantation site, where the girls spent some time in the activities for kids section. We listened with great delight to audio clips of Pilgrim phrases such as "arsey varsey" for backward, "mouser" for cat, "Huzzah" for congratulations etc etc. We used some of these "Speak Like a Pilgrim" phrases for our Q&A of the cast after the play. We read about a day in the life a Wampanoag child and a Pilgrim child. This site is beautifully done with more meaty articles appropriate for the high school and middle school crowd as well as all of the wonderful interactive content for the younger crowd.

There is an online game at the PP site that is just outstanding! You can download it to your computer or play online. Gwen and I did the online version together. I sat in the recliner nursing the boy while she sat at the computer and read the pages to me. The graphics are beautiful! There are audio clips from "experts," slides, and pictures of historic interpreters reenacting various activities and events in Wampanoag and Pilgrim life.

I particularly like that the whole Plimoth Plantation site is balanced and that it does not present a thoroughly Eurocentric view of the events of colonization. Friction between Pilgrims and Native People is discussed as well the sicknesses brought from Europe that decimated so many Native tribes. Gwen learned about primary sources, view point, and what the role of a historian is in interpreting history. This was a great elementary level resource for learning.

Back to our play, "The Planters of Plimoth." I have school envy occasionally at the holidays,because my kids don't get to do pageants, plays, or talent nights. I have wanted to do something special for Thanksgiving for a couple of years. My grand plan was a fun Thanksgiving get together with other homeschoolers where our kids read poems, sang songs, and did a Thanksgiving play. I gave up on that and decided one big event in the fall was enough. In addition I am mostly "retired" *laugh* from organizing stuff right now--at least for groups. Okay well at the very least I am on a reduced schedule. *wink * So I decided that the kids and I would put together a show for Daddy and Greg and we would do it here at home on the the holiday. So that is just what we did. (We recorded the play and once Eric straightens out the kinks to posting video clips I will put it up. ) ('The Equal Rights" for girls poster is a reference to the fact that the girls and woman did the cooking, cleaning, and serving at the Pilgrim Harvest Festival while the men and boys played games and ate. )

Pictures of the props are scattered throughout this post. Except for the brightly colored Pilgrim Separatists, the Native People, and the King , the girls and I drew all of them free hand and then colored them in. I can't see enough what a great resource Draw Your World is for encouraging drawing. We are not learning perspective or shading that can come in a more formal class but we are building confidence and pride in well drawn pictures.

I wrote a narration for the girls. My first draft was sawdust dry --think grad school tome. After I did a first "dry run" *cough* practice with the girls I realized it sounded awful. So in a moment of pure inspiration I asked Sukey to paraphrase each paragraph I read to her and the narration was born. She narrated the play while Gwen and I frantically sorted props , fought silently behind the puppet theater over who got to hold what ,laughed our fannies off, and tried to keep up with her reading. Which she did very well I might add. Gregory sat in his high chair mowing on dum dums to keep him happy so we could get through the play ,while Daddy, who is sick as a dog with bronchitis, put on a brave interested face.

The Q&A of the cast at the end was laugh yourself sick funny between the off camera snorting of the baby, the tiggery bouncing of Gwen, and Sukey's pick out a wedgie every 30 seconds silliness, while she bounced up and down screaming, "Pick me!!" I get fits of laughter every time I think about it.

We had a great time learning all of this history. I had as much fun as the girls coloring and cutting and drawing and putting on the play. We performed it today for 2 of friends theirs who immediately wanted to help put it on. So then with their help we put it on 2 more times--once for a mom and dad coming to pick them up!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Spooky Happenings at the Homestead

2010-11-26T20:05:00.016-05:00

I am putting Halloween pictures up from the last 2 years! Better late than never as the saying goes. Not much to say about this except Lordy Lordy our kids sure are cute! Though I should explain that Grandma Dotty made the Raggedy Ann and Andy costumes. Best seamstress ever!

Halloween 2009

Gwen and Sukey

Sukey Jane and her pumpkin.

Sukey's pumpkin at night.

Perly Girl.

Gwen's pumpkin at night.

Gregory the Giraffe's First Halloween

The Whole Cast!

Halloween 2010

Three blind mice, three blind mice
See how they run. See how they run.
They all ran after the farmer's wife.
She cut off their tails with a carving knife.
Have you ever seen such a sight in your life as
Three blind mice.
Three blind mice.

Halloween Night

Tired Baby Mouse

Refueling after Trick or Treat.

The Whole Gang!

Gwen and Sukey Mousing it up!

Gregory Mousling

We spared the pinky....

Science at Sea

2010-11-26T13:03:00.026-05:00

On September 20th my family participated in a field trip through the Wetlands Institute in Stony Harbor New Jersey. I organized this field trip because I wanted our girls to have a chance to go on a boat in the ocean and see dolphins as well as have solid science education with marine biologists. One hundred five people came together to go on the cruise out of Wildwood Crest New Jersey on the Atlantic Star.

The families took a 3 hour tour up the coast of New Jersey in the Atlantic Ocean as well as in the Delaware Bay. The trip was outstanding! (Being the chicken that I am I stayed on the dock on solid ground while everyone else cruised out. Daddy took a day out of work and had a smashing time with the kids. My last whale watching expedition in the 1980's consisted of my barfing for 3 hours intermittently off the back of the boat surrounded by diesel fumes and laying curled up in a ball sleeping off the nausea under deck benches. At one point I roused long enough to see 3 humpbacks bobbing sedately next to the boat like they were standing on their flukes just for me. Then I went back to barfing. I decided that I couldn't risk being embarrassed in front of a 100 people that I had organized a trip for and watch a toddler on a boat. Too much stress even for this stress junkie!)

Back to the trip. According to my sources *laugh* the trip was the best field trip ever! High praise indeed! There were no less than 4 marine biologists on board. The entire boat was set up into a learning lab with stations set up around the boat for instruction. At one station the kids used microscopes to look at plankton and learn more about their role in the food chain. There were about 15 set up inside decks. Gwen's plankton were very active and wiggled in and out of her sights to her delight. The kids helped cast out a net and haul it to trawl the ocean for sea creatures which were examined and placed in tanks of water to keep them safe while they were being used for educational purposes. They hauled in a dogfish, eels, knobbed whelks, sea urchins, hog chokers, and many other creatures.

Sukey in particular thought Hog Chokers were fascinating. She learned that local farmers in the Cape May area used to buy the "garbage fish" from the fishermen at the dock to use as feed for their hogs. The fish that came to be dubbed a hog choker was not wanted by even the farmers because their hogs would choke on them and sometimes die!

At one of the stations the kids spent some time learning about blue crabs and horsehoe crabs. They saw a female blue crab with her orange egg sac. They learned quite a bit about horsehoe crabs and even got to kiss a horseshoe crab for seven years good luck! Ewwwww!

The kids helping to reel in the net.

Everyone on board was delighted when they saw a pod of about 75 dolphins right as they came on the boat out of the Delaware Bay on the other side of the jetty. They learned that for every dolphin you see on the surface there are actually 3-4 under the water. Daddy took quite a few pictures and got one really nice one of a mother and calf frolicking side by side. This was the highlight for our girls who simply adored seeing the dolphins. Reading about things in books and seeing videos are all great ways to learn--but there is nothing to compare to seeing a pod of dolphins frolicking around your boat while you cruise the coast to make an impact on all your senses and leave a lasting impression. In fact Gwen in her journal about Science at Sea said this, "I really loved seeing all the animals but my most favorite were the dolphins. I had never seen a dolphin before and it was amazing. I would really like to do this again. It feels like a special thing just for me like it was made just for me. This experience made me want to dive with dolphins and be a marine biologist."

The morning after this trip when Gwen woke up she had a positively holy glow on her face. She was lit with an inner fierce joy and beauty that was breathtaking---she embraced and thanked me with pure joy for having arranged the trip. If I hadn't witnessed it myself I might not believe how joy can light a person like a candle from within. She was gorgeous in her joy.

The Wetlands Institute folk did an outstanding job educating the children and adults. They kept everyone engaged and interested and may well have sparked a lifelong love of marine life in a few children that they encountered on this trip. They lit a fire under my Gwen . We spent the next 2 months reading books about the ocean and working on journal entries about the trip when we did science in school. The trip sparked a fairly lengthy intense unit study. We did dioramas about the the ocean, tissue paper art projects, learned how to draw several ocean animals and sea sponges using a book from the Draw Write Now series. Both girls completed science journal entries about their Science at Sea trip. Gwen is getting ready to take a test on a chapter about oceans and seas she read in an encyclopedia of the earth. (We got sidetracked in early November with the time sensitive autumn leaf collection project for a Temperate Forest Study so her test was pushed aside.)

This was a fantastic trip. No doubt about it. In the spring I am arranging a trip to the Wetlands Institute in Stony Harbor for a several hour class in the wetlands and on the shore doing a variety of science experiments and activities. This will spawn yet another round of ocean related unit study though this time will focus more on the tidal zone and estuaries. If I need a reminder about why we homeschool all I need to do is remember this trip and all the learning that was generated from it.

Blogging Again

2010-11-26T12:37:00.005-05:00

I have been unable to blog for a little over a year now. I stopped after the baby's baptism in August of 2009 for a few reasons. I am trying to find a little time to write again. We'll see if I can manage it. I have a lot to say about the last year we'll see if I can squeeze it in and keep up with current events.

The blog is hopelessly out of date in some sections. I have a lot of work to do to get it updated but I have done a couple of quick things to get started. My tiddly winks family reflects a toddler now instead of a swaddled baby and Sukey and Gwen both got updates as they are becoming young girls not little girls.

I have book lists to update for the girls and the slide shows are old. The Atrium is no longer in use on the second floor that room is a nursery now.

The last 18 months have been very hard in some significant ways I 'll write about some of that. Until then I did manage to post about Sukey's 8th Birthday Afternoon Tea. Enjoy!

An Afternoon Tea

2010-11-25T23:42:00.008-05:00

Sukey turned 8 in October. We had a family party for her that weekend. On November 21st we had an afternoon tea with her friends to celebrate her birthday.

Her friends were asked to dress in their frilliest for an afternoon of tea, and cakes and doll play. Each girl brought along along a favorite doll friend to play with after tea.

We used china tea settings from a local thrift shop, paper doilies, a lovely tablecloth, and irises from my garden to dress the table. Gwen and Sukey made place cards for each guest along with menus. Thrift shops are great places to find china settings and accessories for parties.

Sukey wore a blue white sleeveless dress, white tights, and navy blue pumps.She had on a pearl bracelet and sterling guardian angel necklace. We made her menu and place card in blue. Her tea cup and saucer were a blue rose on white pattern. Her guests had dark pink roses on white tea settings and light red menus and place cards.

The menu included 3 types of tea sandwiches--pineapple and cream cheese, cucumber and butter, plain peanut butter, and peanut butter and grape jelly. Sukey insisted that we add vegetables to to the menu even though a traditional tea would not have them. (This is a testament to my insistence on vegetables with lunch and dinner as well as a snack. I am still blushing with satisfaction.) I thinly sliced celery, carrots, and tomatoes and Gwen arranged them on a platter. Next we took the cakes slices that I had bought frozen (thank you to the baker who suggested that) and then quickly sliced and arranged them on a glass cake stand. We put dark chocolate covered pretzels, brownie bites, and banana chocolate chip muffins and arranged them on a dessert stand.

I am still stunned at how little sandwich you get from a two slices of soft Italian sandwich bread after you slice off the crusts! I suppose my sandwiches should have been in quaint shapes but squares and rectangles were the best I could manage!

The girls drank sugar plum tea and lemonade.

One note about the tea party food: The girls loved the peanut butter and jelly tea sandwiches. They were very suspicious of the cucumber sandwiches. They ate almost no vegetables though a few did eat some. We ended up having them in our evening salad with dinner. Surprisingly the petit four glaces were not as popular as I thought they would be. They did eat some but seemed to prefer the muffins and brownie bites.

We actually had two rounds of tea. One guest arrived late due to a mix up and we had a second serving of tea about 2 and half hours into the party. I had washed all of their place setting so with the older girls helping we reset the table and invited the girls back to the table. At that point the girls finished up most of the sandwiches (probably due to hunger!) and then I had to add grape, apples, and shortbread cookies to keep everyone satisfied.

Gwen and her best Kristen who are 10 and 11 served tea to the little girls. They dressed in long dresses and wore aprons whole pretending to be swerving girls at a high tea.

The little girls delighted in this in a way that they just wouldn't have if I had been serving. They were as prim and proper as could be saying,"Thank you," "Please," and "May I" for every request. The older girls seemed to be made to serve. I could picture them both in starched outfits serving the finest Ladies and Gents.

I gave a little lesson to the girls on manners and then read them Munro Leaf's book "Manner Can Be Fun." Our family loves Munro Leaf's books. If you haven't read them you really should they are fun and instructive.

After I washed all of the china second time, I placed each girls setting--plate, saucer, and tea cup-- in a gallon zip loc bag wrapped up in paper towels to protect them, with their menus and place cards on top, with starlight mints and werther's in each girls tea cup. The girls loved these party favors. Each one now has a beautiful china setting to have tea in her own home and a reminder of her friend Sukey. What I loved about these party favors was that they weren't cheaply made junk that will get thrown away 10 minutes after the child leaves the party. They were elegant and will likely get use long after the party.

Each girl had her picture taken individually with Sukey and we also took a group shot. Sukey's thank you cards are sweet photo frames done in pastel gingham cardboard. Each girl received one of these frame cards with a 4x6 photo of herself with Sukey and a group shot of all the girls at the party with a handwritten thank you note from Sukey inside.

The party was sweet. It was a lot of work to plan but well worth the time and effort. Susanna will remember this party for a long time. It was fun to plan and delightful to host. Sukey loved every minute of the planning and the actual party was thoroughly charming. I was definitely living through my daughter at this party I have to be honest. I think I received as much joy as she did from it maybe more!

Family Circus

2010-06-17T21:47:00.009-04:00

I am laying on the couch nursing the boy when I notice that his diaper wrap is ripe. Okay--time to get a load of dipes in and get that wrap washed and some back up ones clean.

I wait patiently for bat baby to unlatch. I wait a long time.....

Eric comes home with the girls from their swim practice, after a few minutes of excited babbling from Gwen about her 200 IM that she did in 3:40 I disentangle myself from the hooting boy who is thoroughly distracted by his sisters now and race downstairs to the basement to throw a load of diapers in.

Then---Rats! I have forgotten to undiaper the boy and wash the very offending wrap. So--I race back upstairs to quick strip him not pausing to check his state. Of course! He's poopy. Now he is standing there grinning--stretching and pulling himself ecstatic to be naked while I gape at his poopy backside. But the poop is small and manageable I am not beaten yet: I call out, "Diaper emergency," while I quick wipe most of the poop of his bum. Daddy zips out from piano practice with Gwen to wash him thoroughly while I run upstairs to the second floor bathroom to flush the poop.

I begin sloshing and flushing only to see the water rise from what is clearly a slightly clogged toilet. Panic sets in--and then--suddenly it clears. Safe! I turn and jog out of the bathroom. I will get this wrap and diaper into the washer ....As I zip past the precariously balanced load of clean folded laundry swaying on the folding table, it slides gracefully to the edge of said table, flips over and rains laundry all over the stairs.

The basket bounces end over end to the bottom landing.

Never give up! Cursing, I leap over the basket and zoom down calling out, "Sukey quick take this pail and bring it down to the washer!" She runs to me. I hand off the small diaper pail with its soggy load to her. She sprints past her father who warns as she careens past, "Look out! The baby just peed all over the kitchen floor."

Need I say more?

In Gratitude For...

2009-08-25T02:29:00.006-04:00

...the coolest summer in the 12 years I have lived in Pennsylvania...

...an amazing swim season for both girls....

...getting home improvement projects done even with a newborn...

...beautiful flowers in my yard...vibrant Black-eyed Susans, glowing zinnias, electric begonias. Pinks, reds, yellows, oranges, purples. Colors splashing and eddying in the pools of my eyes....

...my children....precious, difficult, challenging, sweet, sassy, enthusiastic, cranky, spiteful, loving....

...a sleeping infant pressed to my breast curled in his sling lulled by the rhythm of the Mass each Sunday ....

...the twentyish boy who told me after Mass, while he and his girlsfriend beamed over my son, that I looked stylish with my sling....giggle...

... managing to look stylish once in a blue moon in my plump 45 year old body clad in Wal-mart's finest...hearty laugh...

...my husbands steadfast love and support....

...fresh crisp veggies from the garden so lovingly prepared and cared for by my husband and children....

...the gift of knowledge from others to help us parent our children better...

...life...in all it's guises...

Swimming with the Under Eights

2009-08-25T02:23:00.006-04:00

I started a to write about this last summer (2008) in the middle of summer swim team frenzy. I never managed to finish. For those of you who have never had a child on summer swim team I can only say that is like a roller coaster ride.

I started to write about it again on July 13, 2009 and again couldn't complete a post. so here it is finally! Summer swimming is very fast roller coaster ride. We are heavily into the 6 week season right. This week we have practice 5 mornings from 9:30-10:30, Two evening swim meets, a Saturday morning swim meet, and team pictures on Thursday morning. Whoa Nellie!! The evening meets typically end between 9:30 and 11:00pm. The morning meets start at 7:45 and end around noon.

We live in a world of sticky sun screen, lost swim goggles, chronically wet bathing suits, always damp towels, and gallons of swimmer's shampoo. We are always leaving for the pool, sitting at the pool, coming home from the pool, packing for the pool, getting things ready for the pool, or recovering from the pool! Today we are actually at home! We spent the morning at the pool and we are having an much needed afternoon hiatus. The baby is napping and the girls are quietly playing n their room. It is 2:45 pm and soon I will be barbecuing chicken and serving pasta to girls who can't seem to get enough to eat. But this brief window of time is sweet. Laundry is washing and drying, the baby is sleeping, and I have actually eaten a lunch that wasn't snatched at the door to the refrigerator with a baby howling on my arm to be nursed!

This season has been tremendous for Gwenny so far. She is an "old"under eight--at 8 and a half. Which means that she is having a fantastic season. She is the fastest under 8 girl on her team this summer. Or least she has been for the last 2 meets. She is racing in heat one lane 3 or 4 in every meet. In swimming the only heat that counts for points is the first heat. The fastest swimmers are always in lanes 3 and 4. In the first meet she came in second to the other team's fastest under 8 girl in all of her events. In her second meet she placed first in all all her events. She was disqualified (dq'd) in her 'fly heat because she swam free style by mistake. It was her fastest time ever at 17:16! She came up out of the water so pumped from the heat that she flew onto the deck! It was tough to tell her she swam the wrong stroke but very exciting to see her swim so well.

Sukey is having a great season as well. Last year at 5 she was the youngest child on the team by a few months. She was cute and cuddly and basically a team mascot. She swam her heart out and with a great show of determination and grit finshed every heat she was in even if it took her over a minute. This season her times are well under a minute and she is actually working of her kick and stroke development instead of just staying above water. Her endurance has improved considerably.

I wrote all of that on July 13th It's August 23rd now--summer swim team is another planet. We finished August 3rd. Whoa Nellie does my head spin with the intensity of the summer season! Practice every morning followed by additional instruction from a group of delightful 10 and under girls means we weren't getting home until noon every day. Then on many days after lunch we were back at the pool. By the first week of August I can't stand the pool! It is so worth it for the girls though!

Gwen had an absolutely fantastic season. She was the fastest 8 and under girl on the team for the season. Though she seemed to tire at the last 2 meets and her times slowed. For the rest of the time she was just on fire! It was very exciting for us to go to each meet. At one of them the 100 yard relay was just as intense as any Olympic event. On an 8 and under scale! Gwen was the anchor. She dove in over her teammates head two body lengths behind the team in first place. She dug in and powered her way to the wall beating the other girl by about 12 inches. Her coach was screaming and cheering all the way down the side, her dad and I and baby Gregory were screaming heron, and all the 8 and under boys were hooting and carrying on at the end. She came out of the water to high fives and cheers. It was exhilarating!

Swimming has been the best sport for our girls. it has helped them develop so much confidence, stamina, poise, skill, and self esteem. If we do nothing else right I am glad we have given them swimming.

Well, it is January 20, 2010 at 5:17 am. I wrote that last bit 5 months ago. We have a livd a lifetime since then. We are just finishing the winter swim seaon which has been fantastic for both girls. But that is another post. If I can ever manage it. The summer season will be upon me again before I know it!

This is s team picture of the summer team 2009. Soon it will be summer 2010. Don't blink you may miss it!